Suppose Things Had Gone A Different Way
by Exintaris
Summary: Explorations of pairings among the Friends & their circle. Further reviews for any of stories would be welcome.
1. Ross and Janice

**Suppose Things Had Gone A Different Way**

This introduction needs rewriting. This series began as a way of exploring unorthodox couplings, starting from points in the _Friends_ series at which there is considerable potential for things to have developed quite differently, if one character had said or done something different at the crucial moment (the relevant episode is indicated in the heading). Some writers have explored these for the usual couples, but I was beginning to feel that there was nothing new to be said about them; however, I realise I have got Ross and Rachel together again, by often complicated means, in chapters 3, 4 and 6 - which shows where my basic sympathies lie :).

I should emphasise that the stories are intended to be mutually exclusive. They're just called chapters and parts because it's easiest to arrange them that way.

Chapter 1: Ross and Janice

(5,12: TOW Chandler's Work Laugh)

[Author's Note: Despite what is indicated in the script, a little of which I have used at the beginning, I can think of nothing in the Friends series that shows that Janice actually _is very whiney; she is given no lines showing this, that I can remember. It seems to be simply _assumed_ by the writers, on the basis of her tone of voice. Well, we'll have no voiceism here. Janice may have a lot of irritating mannerisms, but she also has many good points, as features of her successive relationships with Chandler show, as well as her initial patience with Ross]_

Ross could hardly believe his ears. Had Janice really indicated that they were through, when they had only just started?

'What?' he said slowly.

Her voice beginning to shake, as if she were trying not to cry, Janice said, 'You're a very sweet person, Ross,' she turned away and began fanning herself, 'um … unfortunately …' – her voice rose – 'I don't think I can take another second of you _whining_!'

Ross opened his mouth, then closed it again. Him, whining? He thought for a moment. He had to admit, it had been so great to have such a sympathetic listener that he had been rather letting himself go about all the awful things that had happened to him. Now that he thought about it, Janice had shown considerably more forbearance than his friends or even his sister would have done. They would have made some rather caustic comments about his last words, still echoing in his ears, 'Can't _anything_ go right in my life?' Yes, that was a whine, all right.

'Oh my God,' he said quietly. He turned to meet Janice's gaze, to be struck once again by how beautiful her eyes were in that long face, how full and kissable her lips looked – in fact, how lovable she had the potential for being.

'Okay,' he said slowly, feeling his way, 'how about if I _stop whining?'_

She looked surprised. 'You _accept that you have been whining?'_

He nodded. 'Yup, guilty as charged. It's just that … well, my friends and my sister don't _listen_ half the time. I remember telling Joey and Phoebe how great it had been to open up to you, and they claimed they were there for me, but they were only interested in some silly game. You actually listened to me. I really appreciated that, but I see that it led me to … abuse your patience.' He reached for her hand, and held onto it firmly despite what seemed a rather half-hearted attempt on her part to pull away. 'Janice, hear me out. I'm sorry, really sorry, and I'll never do it again.'

She appeared not unmoved by this, and her lips even twitched as if she were trying not to smile, but her voice was doubtful. 'I don't know, Ross. You think you can _keep_ a promise like that?'

He grinned ruefully. 'Okay, never is pushing it. Maybe I should say, I'll _try_ never to do it again. Because you're the best thing that's happened to me in a long time, Janice.' He looked deep into her eyes and squeezed her hand slightly in emphasis. 'Only say we aren't over.'

She blinked, now really affected, and her lips trembled a little. 'But, but, Ross … I, I didn't think … and there's Chandler …'

'_Forget_ Chandler!' he said decisively. 'It's time you were told the truth. He's no more in Yemen than I am. He just couldn't face telling you straight out that it was over. I don't like being the one to break this to you, but that's how it is.' He squeezed her hand again, hoping to convey sympathy.

Janice gave a great gulp, pulled out a handkerchief, and buried her face in it. At that moment, Joey came into Central Perk. He caught Ross's eye and raised his eyebrows interrogatively. Ross jerked his head to indicate that he should keep away. Joey gave a smile and raised a thumb, in a way that suggested he had misread the situation and thought Ross was breaking up with Janice. At least, when he'd got his coffee, he took a seat well out of their line of sight.

'Thanks, Ross,' said Janice rather haltingly as she emerged from the handkerchief. She blew her nose loudly. 'I … I suppose I should have guessed. He seemed … different from the time when we were together last.'

'Yeah, he's changed,' said Ross. 'There's something going on, I think, but he's being very secretive.'

'Ross,' said Janice, now looking at him with almost painful intentness, 'can you tell me _why_ Chandler should have changed towards me? I mean, it's not as if _I changed from when we broke up last, or so it seems to me.'_

'You really want to know?' said Ross.

She nodded. 'Even if it hurts. I need to know what I'm doing _wrong_.' She gave him a little smile. 'I told you some home truths; maybe it's my turn to _hear some.'_

She gave one of her machinegun laughs. Before he could stop himself, Ross winced visibly. She looked startled, then realisation began to dawn on her face.

'Oh – my – God!' she said, in her usual exaggerated manner, but softly. 'It's because I laugh like that, isn't it?'

Ross sighed. 'Yes, partly, but … not just that.' He squeezed her hand again. 'I hope this doesn't hurt too much, but I'm going to be honest. It's your whole overdramatic style, like the way you said 'Oh – my – God!' just now. It used to drive him crazy, except during that one time when you had met again over the Net, and he was _really_ in love with you.'

A tear trickled down her cheek. 'I should have stayed with him – but I had to think of my child, and I wasn't over Gary, the way I am now.'

'You and Gary must be as complicated as me and Rachel, not to mention Emily,' said Ross sympathetically. An idea occurred to him. 'Say, you mentioned some things when we first started talking, but I never heard it all. Why don't you tell me now, anything you want to unburden yourself of?'

'You'd listen?' she said incredulously.

Ross relaxed against the couch. 'Try me.'

Janice needed no further encouragement. It all poured out, about Chandler, Gary, and all the other stuff in her life. Ross nodded, made sympathetic noises, and interjected the occasional question. He recognised how unusual this was for him, but he was determined now in his own mind that his relationship with Janice was something worth trying to save. He also found the experience salutary, because it showed him just how irritating he must have seemed to Janice, not to mention his friends. After about fifteen minutes without a break, however, he must have given some sign that it was beginning to weary him, for she stopped abruptly.

'I'm boring you,' she said firmly.

He patted her hand. 'Just a little, but it's good that you stopped as soon as you noticed. You're much more observant than me. I can see now just why I was driving you wild – but it does feel good to let it out, doesn't it?'

She nodded. 'Yeah. So … where do we go from here?' She spoke seriously, without any unusual emphasis.

Ross thought for a moment. 'Why don't we agree to go on listening to each other, as long as we don't overdo it? And I'll try not to sound off about every little thing …'

'And I'll try not to be overly dramatic, and rein in that laugh,' broke in Janice enthusiastically. Having said which, she started to laugh, but stopped almost at once. 'Jeez, this is going to be _hard,' she said ruefully._

'No, Janice,' he said, 'you recognised what you were doing and controlled it right away. That augurs well for the future.'

'Oh, it _augurs_, does it?' she said, her eyes glinting with fun. 'If I stick around you, I'll certainly expand my vocabulary.' Her expression turned serious. 'Do you think there could be a future for us?'

'Why don't we see?' he said. 'I'd like to think so.' He leaned forward to kiss her, and she met him halfway.

At his table, Joey groaned and struck his forehead with the heel of his hand.

'It looked so promising!' said Joey disgustedly to the girls when they were gathered in Central Perk the following evening. 'There she was, crying into a handkerchief … But next thing you know, he's _kissing her, like they'd made up completely!'_

The girls sighed.

'About the only good thing is, he can't bring her in here while there's a chance Chandler might be here,' said Rachel. 'We'll have to make sure Chandler doesn't know, and that Ross knows he doesn't know.'

Joey looked perplexed, but Monica and Phoebe nodded.

'Not a word to Chandler,' said Phoebe emphatically.

But all their plotting was in vain. When Ross arrived, he greeted them with a fairly cheerful 'Hi!', but then he had little to say, and seemed rather pensive. However, when Chandler arrived, he suddenly sat up straight and looked more cheerful. As soon as Chandler had got a coffee and joined them, Ross said, 'I've got something to say, guys, and it's quite important. It concerns you especially, Chandler.'

The others all drew a breath. Was Ross really going to tell Chandler?

'I'm seeing Janice,' he said. 'We ran into one another three nights ago and, well, we clicked. Joey may have thought we were breaking up yesterday, but although we had a problem, we've resolved it. What I'd like is to be able to bring her in here with me, but I'll understand if you have objections.'

Chandler looked surprised. 'You're actually _dating Janice?'_

'Yes,' said Ross, looking round defiantly at the others. 'They already know, but I don't suppose they've told you.'

'_Well_,' said Chandler, looking very cheerful, 'then I can tell you something, and the others who don't know as well.' Monica immediately sensed what he was going to say, and tried to make gestures to warn him off, but he either didn't notice or ignored them. 'Monica and I have been in a relationship since London. Joey has been covering for us.'

Phoebe gasped, Rachel smiled, and Chandler and Monica looked apprehensively at Ross's gathering frown.

'What happened to the rule about dating your friend's relatives?' he said to Chandler.

'You can't fall in love according to rules,' said Chandler.

'Love?' gasped Phoebe. 'You're in love? Oh wow, that is _huge.'_

'Yes,' said Chandler, turning to Monica and putting an arm around her. 'I love Monica. She's the best thing that ever happened to me.' Monica snuggled against him, beaming.

'Oh, that is so sweet, you guys!' cried Phoebe excitedly. Rachel and Joey also looked approving. Then all turned to Ross, whose frown had not entirely departed.

'Well,' he said a little grumpily. 'If it's been going on this long, it must be serious. Okay, I'm not going to make a fuss, as you all seem to expect, but in the circumstances, I hope you won't object to my bringing Janice in here.'

Indeed, Chandler could see no way to object, although the others looked at him pleadingly. He nodded resignedly, and the others grudgingly nodded or made assenting noises when Ross looked at them.

'Great!' he said when he had secured agreement. 'And don't worry. I'm taking her in hand. She isn't going to do all those things that irritated us so much. It's part of the deal.'

Naturally, this sounded rather intriguing, and the others pressed him for details, but he refused to say more, instead grinning at them smugly. When Janice appeared the next day, it did not take the friends long to realise that Ross had indeed had a marked impact on her behaviour. She was rather quiet at first, but eventually joined in the conversation. At once it became evident that her  tendency to be overdramatic was well under control, and whenever it seemed that she would break into the dreaded laugh, Ross coughed or gave her a glance, and at once she became quiet or simply giggled in a far less irritating manner. They then slowly began to realise that, if you ignored the tone of Janice's voice, which was less grating because she was not speaking so loudly, you heard her saying things that were interesting.

Monica was the first to notice something else, that Janice seemed to be controlling Ross's tendency to feel sorry for himself and bemoan every setback in his life. When he began in this vein, she would catch his eye, grin, and say, 'Now, Ross!' or something similar, or cough, and he would stop and look a little sheepish. Such interventions, like Ross's with Janice, happened less frequently as the days went by. Ross actually seemed to be getting happier, and his angry outbursts seemed a thing of the past. Within a month, he was invited back to his old job at the Museum. In fact, as Monica pointed out to the others, Janice was actually good for Ross, and the relationship seemed as steady as that with Carol had been.

After six months had passed, Ross's friends accepted the inevitable: Janice was here to stay. This was no longer particularly disturbing to them. Janice had proved herself to be a much more interesting person than they had imagined, and there was no doubting the sincerity of her love for Ross, or his for her. Any fights between them – and there were some, for both had strong characters – were always made up, and only seemed to make the relationship stronger. No one was very surprised when, finally, he proposed to her. The marriage took place about a year after their first getting together, and was the last occasion for a real gathering of the friends, for already they had begun to grow apart. Rachel, who had put a brave face on it but had been depressed by becoming finally and irrevocably part of Ross's past, had accepted a promotion that required her to move to Chicago, where she had made new friends and found many men eager to date her. She kept in touch by letters and visits, but it was not the same. Joey had also moved away to LA, having finally managed to break into movies. His career continued to be somewhat checkered, but he got enough work to make a reasonable living. Phoebe continued in the same old way, but there was no denying that things had changed.

A year after the marriage, Ross and Janice's first child, a daughter whom they named Sarah, was born. If anything was needed to cement the marriage it was this, for both adored her from the start. As Phoebe had predicted of their children, she developed a very fine head of hair, but she also had good looks and a sweet nature, which was proof against all the spoiling that she received, not only from her parents and Janice's daughter by Gary, but her Geller grandparents and her aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, who had themselves married by this time. Two years later, a son followed, named Jack for his Geller grandfather, and Ross finally had the family that he had always wanted. When he proposed moving to Scarsdale, Janice enthusiastically agreed.


	2. Rachel and Joshua

Chapter 2: Rachel and Joshua

(4,20, TOW All the Wedding Dresses)

'Okay, you guys, just relax,' said Rachel cheerfully as she went to open the door. Flinging it open, she lightheartedly cried, 'I do!' Only, to her consternation, it was not Chandler who was standing there, but Joshua, on whose face a look of complete panic was rapidly appearing as he saw Phoebe and Monica behind her, also in wedding dresses.

'Oh my God!' she cried. 'I was expecting Chandler!', just as he was saying, 'I gotta go.' He had turned and taken two steps; then he looked back, curiosity overlaying the panic. 'You thought I was Chandler? Why?'

'Yes,' she cried, suddenly panicky at the thought that he would be frightened off for ever. Keep talking, she thought desperately. 'He had this big date, and he's so commitment-phobic, so it was just to goose him, y'know?'

Joshua did not move any further, although he still looked ready to take off at any moment. She hurried on, 'Joshua, we just put these on to cheer ourselves up. I know it looks weird, but it really doesn't mean anything, I _promise_.' Conscious that she was beginning to babble but unable to stop, she went on, 'Forget everything I said this morning, I was being _so_ dumb, please please don't go away now that you're here, _please_!'

Joshua said hesitantly, 'Well, I …'

'Look, I'll change out of this and come out with you,' she said, 'or you can come in for a beer or something and we'll _all_ take them off. Just,' she came near to breaking down, 'just _don't_ run out on me.' She sniffed, and decided she might as well say it. 'I _really_ like you.'

Joshua gave a deep sigh and seemed to relax somewhat. 'It's nice to hear that, and I really like you too, Rachel. But I certainly would be a _lot_ easier if you were wearing anything else.'

'Come in,' she begged, stepping forward and taking his hands. 'Just give me a minute and I'll get out of this, I swear.'

Still looking very wary, Joshua allowed himself to be led in. Only Phoebe was now present.

'Monica went to change,' she explained.

'You sit there, Joshua,' said Rachel, pushing him onto the couch, and hastened to the bedroom, a feeling of mild elation growing in her at the thought that she had, at least temporarily, managed to retrieve the situation. Deciding not to wear anything very sexy, because he might take it the wrong way – she had already shown more neediness than she had ever done before in a relationship – she put on a simple summer dress. When she came out, Phoebe was explaining how she came to be acting as surrogate mother for her brother's babies, and Joshua was listening with apparent sympathy. Monica appeared just after Rachel and gave Joshua a brilliant smile.

'Sorry about that,' she said. 'My brother's getting married, as you may have heard, and you know how we women are about weddings. Can I get you a beer?'

Unseen by Joshua, Rachel blew her a kiss for trying to help out. He proved ready to accept a beer, and before long he was chatting easily with them and the whole incident seemed forgotten. Then Phoebe dropped a casual reference to the chick and the duck, and he suddenly looked very uneasy. Seeing this, Rachel jumped up at once.

'Let's go eat somewhere, Joshua,' she said.

He smiled at her. 'Good idea.'

Throughout the evening, Rachel did everything she could to put him at his ease and convey the impression that she was as fond of him as she was beginning to feel herself to be, but not desperate. Finally, the meal came to an end.

Joshua looked at her with a slightly sheepish expression. 'Would you … like to come back to my place? I can _promise_ my parents won't walk in this time. They've gone to the Hamptons for a month.'

Rachel felt her heart leap. 'Joshua, I'd _love_ to come back to your place,' she breathed.

Much later, she lay in Joshua's bed, looking towards the ceiling, as he slept beside her. For a first night together, it had gone pretty well, she thought. She was still not sure whether this was it. But it was definitely the best thing that had happened to her recently, and it was doing a good job of dulling the pain that she felt over Ross's coming wedding to Emily.

In the following days, Rachel saw quite a lot of Joshua and learned a lot about him, which only seemed to stimulate a desire to learn more still. When she was invited to Ross's wedding, she readily accepted, but went through the flight to London and the days leading up to the wedding in a semi-daze, in which she spent most of the time either thinking of Joshua, talking to him on the telephone, or talking about him, until Monica had to tell her bluntly to shut up, because she was driving everyone, including Ross, crazy.

Who can say whether it was Rachel's constantly talking about a new lover that led Ross to say her name in error at the ceremony? At any rate, no one was more shocked to hear it than Rachel herself, and she immediately followed the bride and groom, eager to assure Emily that she had not been seeing Ross on the sly and no longer had any interest in him. But she discovered that, although Emily had gone through with the ceremony, she had now locked herself in her room. Frustrated in her desire to reassure her, Rachel rounded on Ross and in tones of increasing anger berated him for being such a fool.

'I've moved _on_, Ross, and you've _got_ to get me out of your head,' she stormed, 'or you'll never be happy again!'

'Rachel, they can hear you all over the hotel,' said Monica reprovingly, as she came in with Chandler.

'I don't care!' cried Rachel furiously. 'I've got a right to shout! How, how do you think I feel, looking like the cause that, that Ross's marriage broke up before it even started? I hope everyone can hear me, and most of all Emily!' She was beginning to get tearful.

A moment later a key was heard turning in the lock of Emily's door. It opened, and a rather white-faced, tear-stained Emily peered out. Totally ignoring Ross and all the others, she said rather hesitantly, 'Rachel – do you really mean that?'

'_Yes_!' cried Emily urgently. '_Please _believe it, Emily. I have _no_ interest in Ross.' With sudden realisation, she cried,  'I _only _want Joshua!' She began to cry. 'Oh God, I shouldn't have come! But I've known Ross all my life, I was his close friend before I was his lover, as I have been afterwards, and he wanted me here.'

To the amazement of all present, Emily stepped forward to give her a comforting hug. 'You couldn't possibly have foreseen this, Rachel,' she said quietly. 'I don't blame you at all. I believe _you_.' She looked at Ross accusingly.

 'What can I say?' he said abjectly, spreading his hands. 'I can't explain it, except that … once it was my dream to marry Rachel. Maybe, just for a moment, the dream took over.' He went down on one knee. 'Give me a chance to prove that it was just a dumb mistake arising from a moment's inattention, that it's you I love, Emily. I do dumb things sometimes, any of my friends will tell you.'

She stared at him for a long moment, and saw sincerity in his eyes. 'Okay, Ross,' she said, with just a hint of a smile. 'I'll give you another chance.'

'Oh, thank God!' cried Rachel, bursting into renewed tears. Monica and Joey joined Emily in trying to soothe her, and Ross started forward also, but Chandler swiftly pulled him back.

'_Leave_ her, man!' he hissed. 'You mustn't give Emily _any_ reason to think you still have feelings for Rachel.'

Luckily, Emily did not notice this, as she was preoccupied with helping to calm down Rachel, whose patent and fervently expressed wish not to have anything to do with Ross had dispelled Emily's lingering distrust of her, and given her confidence that it was completely over on Rachel's side, whatever Ross might feel still. For now she was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. After repairing her makeup with the help of Rachel and Monica, she went out to the reception on Ross's arm. Although it was not the easiest of occasions, it passed off well enough. But Rachel left it fairly quickly and returned to her hotel room, where she told Joshua the whole story in the course of a long and sometimes tearful phone call, declaring all the while that it was him she loved, to his increasing delight

When she returned with the others to New York, Joshua was at Kennedy Airport to meet her, and from then on their romance prospered. By the time Ross and Emily had returned from their honeymoon, she was already sure that she wanted to marry Joshua, but, having thoroughly learned her lesson, she did not drop even the remotest hint, even after his divorce had been finalised. It took a lot of patience, and she would often talk with Monica, whose romance with Chandler was now common knowledge, of the problems of dealing with commitment-shy males.

Emily too displayed some sympathy. She and Rachel had become reasonably friendly, for, to Rachel's gratification, Emily now seemed to trust her. One afternoon they were sitting in Central Perk, waiting for the others to arrive, and Emily asked how it was going with Joshua.

'Oh, things are great,' Rachel said. 'Mind, there's nothing that could be called progress towards my goal, but I am very happy to be where I am at the moment. I've learned the hard way to count my blessings. And you?'

Emily pulled a slight face. 'Rachel, can I ask your advice about handling Ross?' she said. 'But not if it'll hurt you to talk about it.'

'Isn't it more likely to hurt you?' said Rachel. 'I mean, I never cared to hear Ross talk about his time with Carol too much. But if you think you can stand it, go ahead, shoot.'

'To be honest, there's no one else I can really ask,' said Emily. 'Monica doesn't know him in the ways that you do, and it involves Carol and Susan – well, Susan, actually. You know we hit it off when she came to London to shoot a commercial, and I really enjoy her company. Carol's completely fine about it, but Ross … it's as if he thinks Susan's going to, you know, seduce me or something.'

Rachel groaned and rolled her eyes. 'That again! When she was over in London and going here and there with you, he was totally obsessing about it. We all agreed, his experience with Carol has left him really mistrustful. It was this thing he had about me and a guy at the place I worked then called Mark, that was largely the cause of our break-up. But I thought, when you came back from London, he realised it was all his paranoia.'

'Well, he's back with it now,' said Emily rather bitterly. 'It's because I see her fairly regularly, I suppose. Much as I like you people, I don't want to confine myself to your company, which is what he seems to expect and to want. So, do you think there's anything I can do?'

Rachel thought for a minute. 'You're going to have to lie about something,' she said finally, 'if you want to keep seeing her. So why not keep saying stuff like, you have to suppress your feelings about her lesbianism, or you cannot see what Carol sees in her, something that suggests you find her good to talk with and do things with, but unattractive personally? I think he'd fall for that. Of course, you'd better square it with Susan. She might even play along – I think she would get a kick out of putting one over on Ross. And you'd better warn the others; I can help out there.'

'Rachel, what great ideas!' said Emily enthusiastically. 'Thanks ever so much. I'll certainly try that, and if you could drop a word to the others …'

'Glad to,' said Rachel, pleased that Emily had not only sought her advice but was willing to take it seriously.

The apparent success of this advice made Emily even more friendly towards Rachel, and she began to treat her as her confidante, somewhat to Monica's chagrin. She seemed to feel that this should be her role, as Ross's sister. In a while, Rachel began to feel that she would gladly have handed over the role to Monica, since it had to be faced. Ross's marriage was having problems, not all of his making, although anything he did always seemed to make matters worse, and Emily was constantly turning to her for advice. But this was for a time overshadowed by the decision of Monica and Chandler to live together, which meant that Rachel would have to move out. 

Rachel was willing enough, but soon discovered that finding somewhere to live was going to be a real problem. Joey offered her the place that Chandler would be vacating, but she could not face living in that apartment again, and especially sharing with Joey. She loved the guy, but he was even more untidy than she was and she suspected that he would be constantly trying to catch glimpses of her body. When she asked if Phoebe could take her in, at least temporarily, Phoebe went into a whole rigmarole about a room-mate whom everybody suspected to be fictitious; Rachel got the underlying message, that Phoebe wanted to keep her space. She dared not asked Joshua, as Emily suggested, fearing that this would give him the wrong signals, and did not even mention it. So she began poring over the ads in the newspapers. 

One day Joshua entered Central Perk to find her doing this. He bent to kiss her and asked what she was looking at.

'Apartments for rent,' she said. 'Chandler wants to move in with Monica, so I have to move out, and I _don't_ want to go in with Joey. But there's nothing that looks even halfway bearable.' She glared at the column of advertisements.

'Oh!' said Joshua. Then, after a pause, he said rather tentatively, 'Um, Rachel?'

She looked up. 'Yes, honey?'

'You, um, you wouldn't consider, um,' he was beginning to blush, 'would you be interested in moving in with me?'

Rachel threw the paper aside and embraced him ecstatically. 'Oh Joshua,' she cried, 'I'd be _so_ interested you wouldn't _believe_.'

Behind the counter Gunther groaned, loud enough for one of the waitresses to hear. She grinned at him. 'Your heart-throb getting further and further out of  reach?' she said a little maliciously. Gunther simply nodded, too despondent to come back at her. Ross had been bad enough, but this looked truly serious.

And so it proved. Joshua soon realised that he could not imagine life without Rachel. Still somewhat insecure, he constantly worried that she might go off some day, so he did the best thing he could think of to keep her. Three months after she moved in, he proposed, more in hope than in expectation. To his delight she accepted immediately and without the slightest reservation; he perceived that she had been wanting to marry him for some time, but was excited rather than put off by this realisation. Indeed, she was eager to go down to City Hall and get married the following day, but he persuaded her that she would like a proper wedding. Her father and mother, who had met Joshua separately, both approved of him, and managed to keep their mutual antagonism sufficiently under control to allow Rachel's wedding day to be one of almost unmixed happiness. The only problem was that, as everyone could now see, Ross's marriage was breaking down. In fact, Ross and Emily separated soon after Rachel's wedding, and despite all the efforts of herself and Monica they proved irreconcilable. Emily returned to Britain and a divorce followed.

Rachel was sad for them both, but by this time she was preoccupied with starting a family. Her first son was born a year after the wedding, and with Joshua's agreement was named Leonard for her father, and Ross for a middle name. By this time, to her pleasure, for she sincerely wanted Ross to be happy, he had established a new relationship, or rather had re-established an old one. At a palaeontologists' conference he had met Julie again, and it quickly became clear to him that she would be happy to resume their relationship, for she had never really got over him.

Once he felt that the relationship with Julie was an established thing, Ross was keen for Rachel and Joshua to meet her and for them to see each other regularly. Rachel did not object to this, but at first she felt a little uneasy in Julie's presence. Now that she was more mature, she felt that she had not behaved well towards her. But Julie seemed to bear her no malice, and they quickly became good friends. Finally, when they were chatting in Central Perk one day, Rachel decided to get it out.

'You know, Julie,' she said, 'I feel very guilty about how I behaved towards you when you were with Ross first.'

'Oh, but that's understandable,' said Julie, 'though I did not realise quite what was going on at the time. I did cotton on, though, when you tried to keep me talking so that Ross and I wouldn't make love.' She giggled. 'Didn't work, did it?'

Rachel grinned ruefully. 'No.'

'Besides,' said Julie, 'if you feel you did wrong, you paid a heavy price for it later. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing to feel guilty about, and here we are, both happy now. So things have worked out for the best, don't you think?'

'I guess so,' said Rachel. 'But, Julie, can I just say,_ don't _ask me for advice about how to handle Ross. I tried that with Emily, but it didn't work.'

Julie grinned. 'Don't you worry,' she said. 'I have a tactic up my sleeve that neither of you could have used. I'll just ask him what he thinks of the latest find, or the latest theory, or something like that, and it will divert him _instantly_.'

She began laughing infectiously, and Rachel joined in. Maybe this time it would work out for Ross, she thought. Maybe, all along, what he needed was a fellow dinosaur geek.


	3. Susan and Emily Part 1

Chapter 3: Susan and Emily Part I

(4,18: TOW Rachel's New Dress)

[Author's Note: To the relief of some, maybe, this is not about any relationship between Susan and Emily – in fact, here is an Emily you can justifiably dislike. Rather, it is about what would develop if something had happened between them in London, with a lot of angst. As before, the opening dialogue is from the script]

Waiting with Carol for Susan and Emily to get through Immigration, Ross reminded himself for the hundredth time that his idea that anything could have happened between them was the product of the mistrustful mindset that his breakup with Carol had created, plus an over-active imagination which could conjure up circumstances in which something could have happened only too easily.

The two appeared and ran towards them smiling. Emily said, 'Hey! I missed you,' as she and Ross hugged. He replied happily, and was further relieved to see that she and Susan exchanged only the briefest of pecks on the cheek. He gave Carol a thumbs up sign and muttered to her, 'No tongue.'

She glanced at him in amusement. 'See how silly you were.'

Ross happily spent the rest of the day with Emily. He noticed that she did not have much more to say about Susan, but instead was eager to know everything that he had been doing. Never averse to talking about himself, he relished the opportunity. Later, her passion in bed surprised and delighted him. Here, he felt, was a much better replacement for Rachel than Bonnie would have been.

It was at about four the following afternoon that Carol phoned him at the museum. 'How soon can you get here?' she said abruptly. 'There's something very important that we need to discuss.' Her voice sounded very strange, angry and sad at the same time.

'What's the matter?' he said in alarm. 'Is it Ben?'

'It affects Ben,' said Carol, 'but he's okay. Look, I don't want to talk now. Just come as soon as you can.'

'I'm there,' he said, and went to say to Donald Ledbetter that he would like to leave early, because something serious had come up in the family. Always accommodating, Ledbetter told him to go ahead.

When he got to Carol and Susan's apartment, he saw as soon as Carol opened the door that something was seriously wrong. She had clearly been crying. She threw her arms around him and said, 'Thanks for coming so quickly, Ross.' Looking past her, he saw Susan hunched up in a chair, her head hanging. When she looked up, it was clear that she had been crying too. He felt considerable alarm: were they breaking up? He wouldn't want that, for Carol's sake.

'Oh my God!' he said. 'What's wrong?'

'Tell him what you told me,' said Carol to Susan in a voice of iron.

'Oh God, Ross, I'm sorry,' Susan burst out. A dreadful suspicion began to form in his mind. 'It was only once,' she went on, 'and, and …' She broke down.

Ross froze. 'Emily,' he breathed.

'Your precious Emily _seduced_ Susan,' said Carol with great bitterness.

'She, she wouldn't do that,' Ross stammered.

'She _did_!' Carol shouted. 'Mad though I am at Susan, I believe she is telling the truth! Tell him how it happened; he has a right to know.'

Between sobs, Susan told a simple tale of too much drink, the exchange of a friendly kiss that became more than friendly, and yielding to an overpowering temptation.

'_She_ came on to _me_!' she insisted. 'I'm, I'm sorry, Ross, but that's the truth. She can be very … enticing, and … Oh God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!' She broke down again.

Ross felt numb. Intellectually he believed Susan, though his heart rebelled at the thought.

'Where's Ben?' he suddenly asked, worried about the effect that this might have on him.

'With the Geller grandparents,' said Carol. 'He knows nothing. But I told Judy.'

'That was … fast,' said Ross frowning. 'Don't you think we should establish the full facts first?'

'Look, Ross,' said Carol fiercely. 'I know you don't like Susan, but I have no reason to believe she's lying. It was clear to me that something was wrong, but I have had to force it out of her. She's torn up with guilt, as you can see.'

'She could be all that,' said Ross slowly, 'and still be trying to shift the blame.'

Susan wailed desperately , 'I'm not!' and began crying even harder. Carol almost moved towards her, her face full of pain and sympathy, then held herself back and looked at Ross again.

'You're welcome to get Emily's point of view,' she said. 'In fact, I wish you would. I'm willing to listen if you think there is another side to it. But I reserve the right to decide what happens between me and Susan.'

'Of course,' said Ross dully. He got up and moved to the door, suddenly feeling old and tired. 'I'll be in touch.'

As it happened, Emily was visiting her rugby-playing friends that evening, so Ross had plenty of time to think about how to handle the situation. He could not face going to Central Perk, so sat alone in his apartment. Presently he opened a beer. By the time Emily got in, he was on his fourth.

'Hello darling!' she said in a very cheerful voice. 'Going on a bender? I've had a few drinks myself.'

All Ross's plans for subtly interrogating her disappeared as a haze of rage at her duplicity came over his mind.

'Did they make you feel horny?' he said in a choked voice.

'What _do_ you mean?' she said in surprise.

'Well, drink seems to have done so on other occasions,' he burst out, jumping to his feet and pointing at her, 'like in _London_, for instance!'

Emily went white, but the expression on her face did not look like guilt or remorse; it looked like anger.

'The stupid bitch _told_ you?' she said.

'She told Carol,' said Ross. 'Carol rang me to go over there. Susan says – ' He stopped, unable to say it.

'Yes, what does Susan say?' Emily snapped. 'That I started it? I'll just bet she did. Well, let me tell you, she was _very _ready to accept a pass. Oh God, why couldn't she have kept her mouth shut? It was only once, right at the end, and it didn't mean anything. You and Carol need never have known.'

Ross was completely taken aback by her attitude. 'Emily,' he gasped, 'she felt _guilty_. She and Carol are _partners_, they went through a _marriage_ ceremony. It's like you seduced someone's husband. And leaving aside Carol and Susan, how could you do this to _me_?'

'I wasn't doing it to you,' she replied firmly. 'Ross, you have no claim of that kind on me. I agree, in retrospect it might have been better not to have done it, but I was feeling really randy, being away from you for so long. And it's not as if I went to bed with another man.'

Ross could hardly contain his rage. 'As far as I'm concerned, there's no difference,' he yelled. 'Don't you feel _any_ guilt, _any_ remorse for what you've done? You've broken up a loving couple, just for a bit of sex!' Something occurred to him. 'I don't suppose this was your first time with a woman, either.'

'Well, so what?' she flashed. 'You were happy enough to go with Bonnie, who sounds far more adventurous sexually than I have ever been. But I don't consider what I did before you, or do when I'm back in London, is your business, to be honest, though I do think you have the right to expect me not to sleep with other men, and that I promise you I haven't done since we started our affair.'

Ross felt almost incapable of coherent speech. How could she be so casual about it? Clearly, she had an attitude to sexual behaviour that he would never understand, let alone share, and no arguments on his part were likely to change it. For a while, he simply stared at her fiercely, as if willing her to show some contrition, but she simply looked directly back at him, her face rather flushed, evidently in no mood to back down or apologise.

'This is getting nowhere,' he said finally. 'Well, I don't know what you expected, but this is the end, Emily. I can't go on dating someone who would do something like this and not even feel sorry for it.'

'I'm sorry that it's upset you, if that's what you want to hear,' she said, finally showing some regret. 'But … you're going to throw away what we have, just over this?'

'You seem to think it's trivial,' he stormed in renewed rage. 'If you'd seen how devastated they both looked …'

'I don't see why you should care,' she retorted. 'Susan seduced Carol, and she deserted you.'

'Carol is the mother of my son!' Ross cried. 'I will always be linked to her by that, and I love her for it, yes, and she and Susan are doing a great job bringing him up. But clearly you can't be expected to understand such feelings.'

'All right, you've said enough,' she snapped. 'I'll pack and leave.' She marched into the bedroom. Ross slumped back into a chair, knowing he had done the right thing but still feeling great pain. In a while she came out again.

'I think I've cleared everything,' she said in a neutral voice. 'Don't bother to send anything on if you find it, just dump it.' She drew a breath, and her voice seemed to shake just a little. 'If … if you change your mind, you know how to get hold of me, but don't wait too long. I'm … sorry that it had to end this way.'

'So am I,' he growled, 'except that it's only ended as far as _you're_ concerned. You've left a mess behind you, Emily.'

Her face changed a little. 'I never thought that Carol would make such a fuss, if it did come out,' she said. 'Tell her I'm sorry. Goodbye, Ross.'

He got up and saw her to the door, but he refused to kiss her, though she looked at him expectantly, simply said, 'Goodbye,' rather gruffly. Her face changed again. He saw her lips tremble slightly, but then she sighed, shook her head, and walked off down the corridor. Turning back into his apartment and seeing the litter of beer bottles on the table, he decided that he could not bear to be alone. He did not think it would be a good idea to go over to Carol's again. Central Perk, or Monica's apartment, looked like the only options.

When Ross entered Central Perk, to find the others sitting over a late coffee, he looked so dreadful that all the others jumped to their feet.

'Jeez, man, what _is_ it?' said Joey, and Monica cried, 'Ross, what on earth has happened? Is it Emily?'

He looked at her dully. 'Yes, it's Emily,' he said. He walked to the couch and sat down. Monica followed and held his hand, Phoebe sat on the other side of him, Rachel sat opposite, and the two men stood behind him.

'Do you know,' he said, forcing the words out, 'what that _bitch_ has done?'

They looked at him wordlessly, mouths open at the violence of his wording.

'Right at the end of Susan's time over there, she _seduced_ Susan when they were drunk,' he ground out. 'Susan felt guilty, and must have shown it, and Carol got it out of her; Carol got me over there to let me hear what Susan had to say; and just now Emily came back to my apartment, and she, she,' – his voice began to shake – 'she didn't even _trouble_ to deny it! Didn't care about what it would do to them – just had some sex because she was feeling "randy" away from me!' 

Having virtually shouted the last words, he broke down and began to sob. Monica immediately folded him into her arms, while Phoebe hugged him from behind, Rachel, very touched, went over and knelt by him, taking his hand and patting it, and Chandler and Joey patted him on the shoulders.

'Oh God, how could I have been so mistaken in her!' he moaned. 'She couldn't see that she'd done anything wrong. As long as it wasn't with another man, anything went when she was away from me. Susan's not the first woman she's been with, to judge from something she said. So maybe I was right to suspect something, but I never thought of anything like this; I thought of Susan going after _her_. Oh God, I feel awful.'

Monica sniffed. 'Have you been drinking?'

'A few beers before Emily got back from seeing her friends,' he said. 'Nothing since. She's gone, of course. Packed up and gone. Said to ring her if I changed my mind.' He gave a harsh laugh. 'Fat chance of _that_.'

'Come back to the apartment,' said Monica gently. 'This is too public for something like this.'

Ross nodded and got to his feet. Surrounded by his friends, he went slowly back to Monica and Rachel's apartment.

Rachel's mind was in turmoil. In one way, she was aching to comfort Ross, to take him in her arms and make it all better. She had never seen him so depressed and unhappy, except when they were breaking up the first time. In another way, she was warning herself that getting involved with Ross again might be exactly the wrong thing to do. It would be on the rebound, when he would be very unstable emotionally, and anyway she was seeing Joshua, whom she liked a good deal.

When they got into the apartment, Monica made coffee for Ross and they all sat around, wanting to help him but not clear what to do.

'You know, it's just as well this came out now, in a way,' he said. 'I was getting quite serious with her. But that only makes it worse.'

'It's a tough break, all right,' said Phoebe. 'But, Ross, you _mustn't_ let it make you feel justified in your mistrustfulness towards women. Mostly, we can be trusted, if we are in a relationship. As you know now, you should have trusted Rachel.'

Ross put his head in his hands. 'Don't remind me.'

'Pheebs, you really shouldn't have brought that up now,' said Chandler. 'The man's in enough pain as it is.'

'Are you going to ring Carol?' said Monica as she brought the coffee over.

'I thought she … might not want any more today,' said Ross.

'You should do it,' said Monica firmly. 'It will show her that at least Susan was telling the truth. That might ease her mind a little.'

Ross thought for a moment, staring at the table, then nodded. 'You're right. I'll go out on the balcony.'

When he rang, Carol picked up after three rings.

'It's me,' he said. 'I rang to say, Susan's version is right. Emily … didn't even bother to contradict it.'

'Oh,' said Carol softly. 'So …'

'I told her to move out,' said Ross. 'She's gone.'

'So's Susan,' said Carol, almost whispering. 'She said she felt so guilty, she couldn't face me. Ross …' – she gulped – 'I know it's a lot to ask, but could you come over? I can't bear to be on my own.'

'Sure I'll come,' he said. 'Is Ben still away?'

'Yes,' she said. 'That was the idea, for him to stay with your parents overnight.'

'I'm on my way,' he said, then, on an impulse, 'love you.'

When he had gone, after explaining briefly, Rachel looked at Monica. 'Do you think he'll go back to Carol?'

Monica looked considering. 'It's a possibility – but somehow I don't think it would work. She's not fallen out of love with Susan, after all. She's simply mad at her – like you were at Ross after the breakup.'

'I _wish_ you people would stop bringing up the past!' Rachel cried, suddenly feeling real pain. Abruptly she said, 'I'm going to my bedroom. I need to do some thinking. Good night.'

  



	4. Susan and Emily Part 2: Ross and Who?

Chapter 3 (Susan and Emily) Part 2: Ross and … Who?

[Author's Note: see episode 7,1 – one of my favourites – if you don't know about "bonus night"]

Ross woke feeling disoriented. This was not his own bed, he knew. Then he began to remember. He opened his eyes to see Carol sitting on the bed in her robe, looking down at him with a smile. But it was not a lover's smile – more maternal, if anything.

He remembered how he had come to be there. When he had arrived at the apartment, they had talked for a while. He had given her all the details on his last conversation with Emily, and she had told him more about what Susan had said. They had discussed possibilities for the future, but always there lay between them, unmentioned, the memory that they had once been husband and wife. She had made up a bed for him in the living room, but he had been unable to sleep, and when he heard her crying he had gone to her. They had turned to each other for comfort, in the end. But now, in the light of day, he knew that comfort had been all it was.

'Last night,' he began, and stopped, not sure what he wanted to say.

'Last night was great,' said Carol, 'but it wasn't about getting together again.'

'No,' he said. 'If this had happened before you two married, it might have been. But … I realised then that it was truly over for us. Last night was like … a bonus night.'

She looked puzzled, and he explained.

Carol shook her head in confusion. 'When we break up, most often it's _painful_,' she said. 'There's rarely any of the feeling left that would make that possible. I suppose, if you just drifted apart …'

'But you and Susan haven't broken up, have you?' he said. 'Sure, you're mad at her, but you want her back, don't you?'

Carol's face showed pain. 'Yes,' she said softly. 'Yes, I do.'

'Do you know where she's gone?'

'I can make some guesses,' she said. 'I'll ring around. But what about you, Ross? What will you do?' Her expression was very sympathetic.

He shrugged, feeling suddenly rather melancholy. 'Get back in the dating game, I suppose.'

'I thought so,' she said. 'Ross, that's _dumb_, when there is at least one woman out there that loved you once, and might well be approachable, if not very ready to start over.'

'You mean Rachel,' he said. 'I'm not sure that's going to work.'

'Actually, I was thinking of Julie,' she said. 'Do you see her at all, at conferences and such? Does she ever come to the museum?'

'Yes,' he admitted. 'I see her from time to time.'

'And is she friendly to you?'

'Yes, she always smiles and asks how I am, all that.'

'Do you get the impression she tries to keep you talking?' Carol pursued.

Ross thought about it. 'Maybe.'

'Well, there you are then,' said Carol.  'That suggests that you could easily start something there again, if you wanted to. She might suit you very well: she's a professional like you, she understands, and the only thing you had against her on your famous list was that she wasn't Rachel.'

'You know about that?' said Ross, aghast.

'Of course I know,' said Carol, looking at him with tolerant affection. 'Rachel poured it all out to Monica, of course, and Monica told me. Now Rachel' – Ross tried to speak, but she held up a hand – 'you had feelings for her from the time she came back into your life. She is very attractive, and very sexy. But she's not a great brain, is she? It's a wonder how she got through college, when she seems to treat reading a _Vogue_ article right through as a major intellectual accomplishment. She could never share your interests like Julie, but she has a great capacity for love. She was very much in love with you, in fact, and I don't think, from what I hear, that that's ever quite gone away. So, there you have it: at least two very worthwhile options.'

'Yeah, and let's not forget Bonnie,' said Ross ruminatively.

'Bonnie!' Carol laughed. 'I'm sure you had fun with her, but that wouldn't have lasted, believe me. By what I heard, she was very adventurous sexually, and definitely not the kind to settle down.'

'Maybe all I want is a little fun,' said Ross rather obstinately.

Carol looked at him appraisingly. 'That's what you thought was going on with Emily at first, wasn't it? But you're not like that, Ross, you're not a person who just wants to have fun. You're serious, you want to commit to a relationship and settle down. I know, because I'm like that too. If I hadn't fallen in love with Susan ...' She sighed. 'Well, that's all in the past now, and it's time we got going. Can you wait while I go first in the shower?'

'Sure,' he said. 'It's your apartment. And thanks for the advice, Carol.'

She smiled. 'Consider it payback for being here when I needed someone.'

While she was in the shower, the phone rang, and Ross answered it, from force of habit announcing his own name.

'Ross?' came Susan's voice. 'What are you doing there?'

'Carol asked me to come over,' he explained. 'She, she couldn't bear to be alone.'

'Did you sleep with her?' asked Susan abruptly.

Ross tried to temporise. 'Well –' he began.

Susan gave a cry of anguish and the link was cut, just as Carol came hurrying out of the bathroom.

'Was that her?' she said, her face tense.

Ross nodded. 'She didn't give me a chance to explain.'

'Ross, tell me everything that you said,' said Carol rather fiercely.

When he had done so, she cried 'Ross, you _idiot_!' with a face of fury, raised her hands as if appealing to heaven, then let them drop again and relaxed her expression.

'I doubt I'd have done any better,' she said, looking at him apologetically.

'Well you wouldn't have had to explain why you were here,' said Ross, trying for a light tone.

She gave a flicker of a grin. 'Okay, now this is still salvageable. Did you get the impression she was ringing from a payphone?'

Ross thought. 'No, she was inside somewhere, I think.'

'Okay, I'll start ringing round,' said Carol. 'This may take a while. Please help yourself to anything you want for breakfast.'

Ross used the bathroom and dressed, then started on breakfast, trying not to listen as Carol's calls began to sound increasingly desperate. Finally, she came to the table, anguish in her face.

'No one will admit to having put her up, or talked to her, or seen her,' she said. 'She has no cellphone. How can I trace her?' Suddenly she broke down. Instantly Ros got up and puts his arms around her. While she sobbed on his shoulder, he tried to think.

'Did Susan, or both of you, ever go to clubs for people like you?' he said when she was beginning to calm down. 'Mightn't she do that, to cheer herself up if for no other reason? That might be the best way to find her, or get news of her.'

Carol looked up at him, sudden hope on her face. 'Ross, that's a great idea. But … I'd have to look in the evenings. What can I do with Ben? I can't leave him with your mother for very long. He wouldn't like it, and this is going to be hard enough to explain to him.'

'I'll look after him,' said Ross. 'Seems the least I can do.'

Carol embraced him. 'Thanks, Ross,' she said softly. 'I'll _never _forget this.'

When Ross appeared in Central Perk at lunchtime, he looked much better.

'You had a good night's sleep?' said Monica, raising her eyebrows.

Ross couldn't resist it. 'The best!' he said, with one of his high-pitched giggles.

'You slept with Carol?' said Joey, always fast on the uptake where sexual matters were concerned.

The others began to bawl Joey out, but Ross stopped them. 'No, he's right, but it's… not what you might think. We both … needed comfort, but it wasn't about getting back together. We know that's not an option, and Carol wants Susan back. The problem is, Susan found out.'

He explained in more detail what had happened, but Rachel for one was not really paying attention. Her mind was fixed on the thought that Ross was now free. In her period of solitary contemplation the previous night, she had come to realise, and accept, that she wanted him back. Now she could actively work towards it. Her attention focussed again when Ross was explaining that he would be going over to Carol's to look after Ben in the evenings for a while.

'Do you want any help, Ross?' she said. 'I'll be glad to help out.'

Monica and Phoebe exchanged glances. Phoebe winked, and Monica responded with a smirk.

'Why, thanks, Rachel,' said Ross, smiling at her. 'That's an offer that I will gladly take up. I'll be in touch. Well, I gotta get back to work.'

Rachel smiled as she watched him go. It was almost like he was her Ross again. She became aware of Monica and Phoebe looking at her.

'What?' she snapped.

Phoebe just shook her head and giggled, but Monica said, 'How's Joshua? Have you eaten that meal yet, that you 'cooked' for him?'

'Don't bring up Joshua!' said Rachel a bit resentfully. 'Guys, this is _serious_.'

'Ross and Rachel, Rachel and Ross!' Phoebe chanted gleefully.

'What, are you two together again?' said Joey, looking at Rachel.

'How can they be, you _dummy_?' Chandler cried. 'Ross only broke up with Emily yesterday, and he was with Carol last night.'

'Gee, yeah, that's right,' said Joey bemusedly. 'So what does Phoebe mean?'

'Seriously, sweetie,' said Monica to Rachel. 'If you were to get back together with Ross, no one would be more pleased than me, but don't you think it's a little _soon_?'

'I haven't done anything yet,' said Rachel. 'Well, I'm off.' She marched out, rather annoyed with her friends.

Rachel had seldom put more effort into anything than she did into helping Ross look after Ben in the following evenings. Always they went to Carol's, since Ross knew how she would feel about coming back to an empty apartment. They had to tell Ben that mommy Susan had 'gone away', but mommy Carol would bring her back, and by common agreement the blame for everything was laid firmly on Emily. It was a bit of a shock to Ben to discover that grown-ups could do bad things, but in the way of small children he quickly absorbed this and forgot about it. Rachel soon found that she genuinely enjoyed playing with Ben and looking after him, and to her secret elation she noticed that Ross would often watch them approvingly. She also relished the walks home with him, when they talked quietly of this and that, and felt that a sense of intimacy was developing between them again. They shared stories about their work, and Ross paid more attention to her than she remembered him doing before. She felt that he was beginning to treat her as a full adult, with responsibilities that mattered. Only once did he ask about Joshua, and she was able to tell him truthfully that it had not worked out. She had in fact found that the possibility of Ross meant more to her than the actuality of Joshua, and had gently explained as much to Joshua when they met a final time in Central Perk.

Usually, Carol was only gone an hour or two, but there came a night when she was late getting back. They put Ben to bed, assuring him that mommy Carol _would_ come back, and were wondering how long they would have to wait, when the door opened and a triumphant-looking Carol entered, pulling Susan behind her. Both seemed in high spirits, but when Susan saw Ross  she turned to Carol accusingly.

'_He_'s here!' she hissed.

'So am I,' said Rachel. 'We're both here to look after Ben, nothing else.'

'You're together again?' said Susan in surprise.

'Well, no,' Ross began, but Rachel overrode him.

'No,' she said firmly, then, summoning up her courage and taking a deep breath, 'but I would like to be.'

Ross turned to her, his mouth open in shock. Rachel looked back at him steadily.

'I know this isn't the way it's supposed to happen. But I have a history of letting you know that I have feelings for you, and now I _don't_ want to wait. We've wasted too long as it is. So what do you say, Ross?' Despite herself, her body tensed. Now she would find out if it had been worth all the effort. She could hardly bear to contemplate the thought that it might not have been.

'I, I don't know what to say,' he stammered; then he grinned. 'This is so _sudden_, Miss Green,' he fluted, in a parody of a maiden in a Victorian novel.

Behind the joke she could see seriousness in his eyes. Suddenly he held out his arms, and she walked steadily into them, only just stopping herself from running. Carol started to applaud, joined by Susan. Ross looked at them, beaming all over his face.

'I sincerely hope you two are back together too, and stay together,' he said. 'Susan, I'm sorry about the other night – '

Susan waved her hands. 'Ross, you have nothing to feel sorry for. You had far more excuse than I did. There's just one thing …' She looked at Carol, who seemed rather embarrassed.

'Ross,' she said, 'you do realise that we didn't use protection that night?'

'Oh my God,' said Ross softly. 'But you can't know you're pregnant yet, surely?' He looked at Rachel as if appealing for understanding. She simply smiled and hugged his arm, as Carol said,

'No, and there's no guarantee that I will be. But we thought it best that you should be prepared for the possibility.'

'It would be good for Ben to have a sibling,' said Ross thoughtfully. He turned to Susan. 'How are you on this?'

Susan looked pleased to be asked. 'I think it's great, though I had been thinking of having a child myself. But there'll be time for that.' She looked at Carol lovingly, then she turned back to Ross. 'I want to thank you for all you've done for Carol and Ben, Ross. I hope that you and I will get on better from now on; I certainly want to.'

Just then Ben ran into the room with a cry of 'Mommy Susan!' and threw his arms round her. Instantly chaos broke out, as he began demanding tearfully that she never go away like that again, she tried to reassure him, and Carol also started trying to calm him down. Ross indicated to Rachel that they should leave, and with nods and waves they made a quick exit.

When they were outside, Ross took Rachel's hand. 'You know what I think?' he said. 'I think we should take this nice and slow, as we have been doing. We should give ourselves time to get used to each other again. We've been apart for a long time.'

'That's fine with me,' said Rachel. 'Just so long as we're together.' She looked at her watch. 'It's late, but … will you walk me back to the apartment, the way you usually do?'

He smiled at her. 'I'd like nothing better.'

It was no surprise to their friends when Ross and Rachel announced that they were back together again. What was surprising was how they were behaving. Though obviously in love, they were not, as Joey characteristically put it, 'all over each other'. Ross did not spend the night in Rachel's bedroom, nor did Rachel stay over in Ross's apartment. It was not clear whether they were having sex at all. When they went out together, as often as not it was to visit Carol and Susan, at Rachel's urging, to see Ben, to whom she was rapidly becoming more than the friend of his 'aunt Mon'ca.'

Even more remarkable was Rachel's reaction when it came out that Carol was indeed pregnant. She displayed not a trace of jealousy or resentment, but seemed genuinely pleased that Ross was having a second child by his ex-wife, saying to Monica and Phoebe that when you understood the circumstances, you could not blame him or Carol for anything.

'It's a good outcome to what was a bad time for both of them,' she added. 'And those kids are going to be so lucky! They'll have Ross for a dad, and _three_ mommies!'

'But you're not even engaged,' Phoebe objected.

'Give it time,' said Rachel easily. 'I'm quite clear what I want out of life now, and I think I have a very good chance of getting it. In fact, I feel sure it will happen, if I avoid putting pressure on Ross. He's been through a lot, you know, and this is another shock for him. He needs time to adjust to it all.'

'You _have_ grown,' said Monica approvingly. 'Well, I certainly think it will work out for you. I only wish I could be so lucky.'

'You don't want to get together with any of your old boyfriends, do you?' said Rachel in some surprise. 'Certainly not Fun Bobby, nor Pete … is it Richard?'

'No,' said Monica, looking away. 'It's none of them.'

Rachel looked at her with sympathetic understanding. 'Just give him some encouragement, Mon,' she said. 'Don't keep suggesting he's not boyfriend material. I think that's all it would take.'

'What? Who?' said Phoebe, and then a look of understanding came onto her face too, and she nodded at Rachel and smiled. 'Yeah, you're right,' she said, 'and Monica's right too. You really have grown, Rach. I'm, like, _impressed_.'

Rachel grinned at her. 'I've been through it a bit too. Sometimes it helps you to grow. Now, Ben's birthday's coming up, Mon, so what are we going to get him?'

(Okay, no "what happened to them next" stuff in this one, but anyone is welcome to take this story further!)


	5. Janice and Gunther

Chapter 4: Janice and Gunther

[Author's Note: I know there is no warrant for this in any episode, but the idea jumped into my head, and I think I have been able to use it in a way that might please a lot of people, though it goes back into what is by now the prehistory of Ross and Rachel's relationship. I intend it partly as a reminder that minor characters in Friends can be expected to have normal human feelings, and that they are in the best position to see the flaws in the major characters. The action starts after Episode 3,8, when Chandler and Janice break up]

It was some time before Janice got around to returning to Central Perk to retrieve the shoe that Chandler had seized in a vain attempt to detain her. For a while she couldn't even bear the thought of going to the place where, for a while, she had been so happy in Chandler's company, and she was preoccupied anyway with trying to re-establish a relationship with Gary. It quickly became clear that this was not going to work, depressing her further. She was at a loose end, having no work worth speaking of. She had given it up to have a child, and had not been able to revive many of the contacts she had had, while Gary had hired a full-time nanny, who was very firm about having primary responsibility for the child. This had made it easier for Janice at the time she was seeing Chandler and she had not objected; now she found herself sidelined. She was still living with Gary, but felt it was only a matter of time before she moved out again. With a lot of time on her hands, she decided one day to go to see if the missing shoe was still in Central Perk.

She decided to go in mid-afternoon, when none of Chandler's group of friends was likely to be there. At least they had tried to hide their antipathy the last time she was with Chandler, but she knew that it was only for his sake. If she was honest with herself, she was not all that sold on them either. Monica was bossy and managing, as well as being the complete neat-freak, Rachel lazy and rather vain, Ross far too fond of telling people things they didn't want to know in the most boring way, and Joey – she had never understood why Joey was quite so freaked out by her, but he undoubtedly was, while she found him far too fond of his attraction to women anas well as unbelievably dumb. Phoebe was the least cold of them towards her, but she was undoubtedly a bit weird and sometimes hard to take.

She was in luck: none of them were there. The man who always seemed to be behind the counter – Gunther, that was his name, she remembered – was looking particularly morose. She decided to be completely upfront with him.

'Gunther, you remember me, Janice, Chandler's old girlfriend?' she said breezily. 'I left a shoe here some time ago; Chandler _grabbed_ it off me. Might he have left it here?'

'I remember,' he said. 'I'll get the box of mislaid items.'

He returned with a large box, and to her delight the shoe was there.

'Thanks,' she said effusively. 'Say, you're looking really _down_.'

'Rachel quit,' he said, as if that explained everything. 'She still comes in for coffee – but it's not the same.'

She looked at him sympathetically. 'Got a crush on her, huh?'

He nodded dolefully. 'Worse than yours on Chandler.'

'It wasn't just a crush,' she corrected. 'We were in _love_, truly. But look, Gunther, you're never going to get to _first base_ with Rachel. Ross has the inside track there.'

His mouth twitched into a small smile. 'Mixed metaphors there. But anyway, things aren't going so well for him now. She got this job in Bloomingdale's, and he's getting all bent out of shape over it, because some man helped her get it and he keeps thinking there's something between them, and his jealousy is irritating the hell out of her.' He suddenly looked at Janice in surprise. 'Why am I telling you all this?'

'Clearly, you need to tell _someone_,' she said, 'and I can lend a _sympathetic ear_. Got nothing else to do.' She gave one of her laughs. 'But hey, if you're so _keen_ on Rachel, why didn't you make a move _before_ she got together with Ross, which took some time, the way I heard it?'

Gunther looked sheepish, sighed, and mumbled something.

'Couldn't work up to it, eh?' she said. 'I don't blame you. It took Ross long enough, and he's known her all his life. She's so _attractive_, it might unnerve any guy. And she does rather tend to take you for granted, like you're part of the _furniture_.'

He frowned, and his face darkened. 'The times I went to bat for her with Terry!'

She nodded. The germ of an idea was forming in her head.

'You replaced her, right?'

He nodded.

'Can you use any more help?'

'I can always fit another part-timer in,' he said. 'People call in sick, or they have family problems, or some damn thing; it helps to have extras. Why, are you interested?'

'Gimme a big coffee,' she said, 'and we'll talk it over. I have an idea that might interest you.'

It took some talking to persuade Gunther to consider what she had in mind, but the opportunity to give Chandler's group a bit of a jolt was tempting to him. Rachel wan't the only one who treated him like part of the furniture, and he did not like the way those who knew of it considered his crush on her a bit of a joke. Finally he agreed, and Janice got out of Central Perk just before Monica and Phoebe walked in; she perceived them coming down the sidewalk in time to turn away.

Next day, when they walked into Central Perk with Joey around mid-morning, none having any work at that time, they noticed that Gunther was looking unusually cheerful. Phoebe, always ready to be direct, asked him why.

'Got a new waitress,' he beamed. 'Old acquaintance of yours, in fact.'

Janice came out of the back room. 'Heeey, you guys!' she said with maximum enthusiasm. 'Surprise, surprise!'

The effect was all she had hoped. Monica looked as if she was restraining an urge to vomit, Joey as if his worst fear had materialised in front of him; Phoebe, the most restrained, still looked like she could smell something bad.

'_You're_ working here?' said Joey in disbelief.

'I'm going to, sometimes,' said Janice airily. 'I don't need the money right now, but maybe I will soon – things aren't working out between me and Gary – and I need something to do. I like to get out and meet people, and it will be a bonus to see you guys all the time!' It was a real effort for her to hold in the laughter at his lame attempt to suppress an expression of horror.

'Won't … won't it hurt, seeing Chandler?' asked Monica.

'Well, a bit, maybe,' said Janice, 'but I'm a big girl. I can handle it.' She laughed, secretly enjoying their winces. 'Does he have anyone else yet?' she tossed out casually.

'Not that we know of,' said Phoebe curtly.

Quickly they collected coffees and went to sit in their usual place. At first, they appeared to be so stunned they couldn't think of anything to say. Later, they communicated in furious whispers. She guessed they were discussing whether they should stop coming to Central Perk. The effort to restrain her laughter was beginning to be too much, especially when Gunther began making bursting noises as he tried to stifle laughter.

'You were right,' he muttered. 'This is definitely the funniest thing I've seen for a long time.' He leaned over the counter and broke into a high-pitched laugh, which became a cough when Phoebe and Monica turned to look. That and their expressions pushed Janice over the edge: hand over mouth, she hastened into the back room, where she was taken over by a kind of fit of laughter for quite a while before she could get control of herself.

When she came out they had gone. 'They looked kind of mad,' said Gunther. 'I'm afraid they may have cottoned on to our little scheme.'

'No matter,' she said. 'I still have to see the effect on Ross and Rachel, and Chandler too.' She did not reveal her real motive, the hope that Chandler's feelings for her would revive when he saw her.

She was back in the late afternoon, in time to get a repeat performance from Phoebe, Monica and Joey, who had obviously hoped that she would be off-shift, with the bonus of Ross's and Rachel's reactions when they saw her. She had to go into the back room, shut the door, and let out another whoop. When she came out, Gunther sidled up to her.

'We could still hear you,' he said, grinning. 'You'd better have a good excuse ready, if they ask you what was so funny.' He winked.

'Thanks for the warning,' she replied, grinning back at him and thinking irrelevantly that he was really not all that bad when he was looking cheerful, and he ought to do it more often.

Then her heart leaped as Chandler entered. He went to his friends first, with a cheery greeting. Evidently they told him that she was there, for he turned to look. She met his gaze squarely, trying to smile naturally and project loving feelings. Everything else seemed to fade into the background as their eyes met. But there was nothing in his eyes for her. After a moment, he abruptly turned away and sat down where he would not have to look at her. She heard him say, 'Joe, get me an espresso, would you? I don't want to go near the counter when she's there.'

Janice stood frozen amid the wreckage of her dreams. She had lost count of how many times Chandler had dumped her, but this was the one that hurt most, for she could sense that it was final. She had never cried before, but now she could not hold back. Slowly she turned, to go to the back room, hardly able to see as the tears began to flow but desperate to get there before she began to bawl out loud. She felt Gunther pat her on the shoulder as she stumbled forward, groping for a handkerchief.

All the friends except Chandler watched her go.

'Serves her right for laughing at us,' said Monica rather vindictively.

'You know,' said Phoebe slowly, 'I think that sometimes we deserve to be laughed at. And Janice is, like, a _person_, with feelings that have a right to be taken seriously. I don't find this so funny.' She picked up her coffee and turned away.

Rachel felt herself prompted by these words to a surprising thought. All along they had viewed Janice as an irritating appendage of Chandler's, not as a person in her own right. She found herself wondering how she would feel if she and Ross broke up for some reason when they were still in love, and then they met again and Ross looked at her as Chandler had looked at Janice. A lump rose in her throat and her eyes pricked as she saw Janice bury her face in a handkerchief before passing out of sight. Suddenly she jumped to her feet and hurried to the back room past a startled Gunther, to find Janice seated on a stool, sobbing helplessly into the handkerchief. She knelt and put her arms round her.

Janice turned and looked at her in surprise. 'R-rachel?' she stammered.

'I know how I'd feel, if it were me and Ross,' Rachel said. 'I really am sorry for you.'

'Th-thanks, Rachel,' Janice gasped, and then the tears came back. Rachel held her close and made soothing noises, patting her back.

Finally Janice calmed down. 'It _really_ hurt him when we broke up last time, didn't it?' she said softly.

'Yes,' said Rachel simply. 'The way I see it, he'd always broken it off with you before, but this time, although it was his suggestion, because of your kid, it was your acceptance of his suggestion that dealt the final blow.' She looked at Janice sadly. 'I'm afraid, it's over for ever this time.'

Janice gave a great gulp, and fought down the urge to burst out crying again. She saw Gunther hovering in the background.

'Are you going to be okay?' said Rachel, looking at her anxiously.

Janice heaved a great sigh. 'I guess. You can go back to your friends. Thanks again, Rachel.'

Gunther looked after Rachel with an expression of love. 'The only one to show any sympathy! Isn't she wonderful?'

Janice shook her head. 'I used not to think so, to tell you the truth. She always seemed a bit spoilt to me. But I'll never forget that she did this.'

Gunther looked obstinate, but he did not comment further on Rachel, saying instead, 'I guess you won't be wanting to continue?'

Janice thought for a moment. 'No, that's what they want, to see me gone. I won't give them that satisfaction. I said I was coming in some days, and that's what I'll do. Only we'll vary it, so they'll never know when to expect me – that is, if it's okay with you. Then you can watch Rachel, and I can watch Chandler.'

Gunther looked pleased. 'I'd be glad of the company. Somehow, I never talk to the other waitresses much.'

So Janice became a fixture at Central Perk, and the friends became used to her presence; they didn't even notice when her shifts became regular. Monica and the three men were still made uneasy by it, particularly Chandler, but Rachel would smile and occasionally exchange pleasantries, often concerning their shared experience of waiting there, and Phoebe would nod and occasionally greet her in a fairly affable way. Janice never went over to talk to them, but she made sure that whatever they ordered was as good and as efficiently provided as possible. Being something of a cook, she would occasionally bake cakes or cookies and take them in, when she would offer them free to any of the friends who were around. When Gunther expressed surprise at this, she said it was called heaping coals of fire on your enemy's head.

'Not that they're _enemies_, really,' she said. 'But they _could_ be more friendly, so I'm goosing them a little. Just see how uncomfortable it makes most of them to say thank you.' She did one of her laughs, and Gunther winced. Noticing this, she kept a check, and realised that he often winced when she laughed. Feeling that she owed him something for being so helpful and supportive, she made an effort to control her laughter. 

Gunther soon found that he looked forward to the days when Janice was there. He found her good company, once you got past the voice. She could talk seriously or lightly to suit the occasion; she was a good waitress, who built something of a rapport with a lot of customers; and, as he began to notice, she was really rather attractive. For her part, Janice found both the job and Gunther increasingly interesting, and sometimes wished he could get over his obsession with Rachel, as she had finally got over Chandler.

One morning when she went in, she found him beaming all over his face.

'Why so happy?' she said. 'Did you get laid last night?' His lack of success in this area was a recurrent topic of conversation.

'No, worse luck,' he said, grinning a little lopsidedly. 'But I have got the goods on Ross. He slept with another woman last night.'

'What, _what_?' said Janice, shocked. 'Why would he do _that_?'

'Oh, apparently he and Rachel had a fight,' he said casually. 'It was hot Chloe at the copy shop. She told her co-worker Isaac, and he told his sister, who is my room-mate, and she told me.'

'Mm,' said Janice. 'They have been having _problems_ … but I don't see why a fight would make him go and do that.'

'Well, it was a really big fight,' said Gunther. 'And apparently she suggested at the end of it that they should have a break. He poured it all out to Chloe.' He grinned. 'I'm going to tell her.'

Janice's brows came right down. 'You will do no such thing, if you've got any sense,' she said sharply. 'Not only do you not know the full _circumstances_, but it won't get you _anywhere_ with her. If they break up for real over it, she'll _always_ associate you with the breakup, and that means you'll never_ ever _have the remotest chance with her.'

Gunther's face changed. 'I never thought of that,' he said. 'But I don't suppose I am ever going to get anywhere with her, so maybe I'll do it anyway.'

Janice lost her temper. 'If you think you'll never get anywhere with her, _why_ do it at all? Think how bad it'll make her _feel_. That's _cruel_, Gunther. And why go on being obsessed with these hopeless _dreams _about her, when you could be trying to get to know a _real_ woman who might accept you? I _beg_ you not to do it.'

Gunther looked at her in surprise, and then understanding dawned on his face. 'You're trying to pay her back for being sympathetic when you broke up with Chandler.'

'Right,' she snapped. 'I _told _you I'd never forget that. I'm _not_ gonna let you do this, Gunther.'

'Okay, I won't tell her,' he said, 'On one condition …'

'Which is?' she said.

'That you go on a date with me,' he said, grinning rather cheekily. 'Whether or not you're the real woman you spoke of.'

'Well, I wasn't thinking of _me_, precisely,' she said, but she was smiling. 'But sure, I'll go on a date.'

He answered her smile. 'This evening, we could close up a bit early.' She nodded.

When Rachel came in near lunchtime, she was looking rather distracted. As it happened, Janice was free behind the counter, as Gunther was creating some incredibly complicated version of coffee for a demanding customer.

'Oh, I did an awful thing last night, Janice,' she said. 'It was meant to be our anniversary, but I fought with Ross, and then Mark came over, and I'm afraid Ross thought I was cheating on him. I did leave him a message, and I saw him this morning, and I hope everything will be okay, but I feel so guilty.'

Janice looked at her sympathetically. 'He's not adjusting well to you having a responsible _job_,' she commented. 'But maybe this will clear the air a bit. To be honest, I think he needed a bit of a jolt, to get him to see you as an _adult_.'

Rachel smiled at her and went to wait for Ross. He came in next, seeming a dreadful hurry, and rushed to the counter. Before he could say anything, Janice exclaimed, 'Hi Ross!' in a cheerful manner. 'Rachel's here already.'

Ross looked over his shoulder, to see Rachel wave at him. He waved back, then leaned forward. His face was haggard. In that moment, Janice felt truly sorry for him. 

'You were drunk, weren't you?' she muttered.

He went even whiter than he already was. 'You _know_?'

'Gunther told me,' Janice said, keeping her voice low. 'But don't_ worry_. Your secret is_ safe_ with us. Go and make it up with her, Ross. It's up to_ you _whether she finds out.'

All the tension went out of Ross's face. 'Bless you, Janice,' he said, 'and you too, Gunther,' turning to him. 'I owe you a very big one.' He hurried over to Rachel.

'What's the most complicated thing Ross ever drinks?' said Janice, turning to Gunther.

'Oh, he never has anything much more complicated than a big latte,' said Gunther, 'but if you're thinking of pretending he was ordering something, maybe we could throw in some cookies, as if he ordered for them both.'

Janice looked at him. 'That's big of you, Gunther.'

Gunther shrugged. 'I … the guy looked bad. I sort of felt sorry for him. Whether he can keep it hidden … But I'm not going to tell, anyway, my mind's made up on that. Besides,' he grinned at her, 'now I have a real live date with an attractive woman, somehow the whole thing doesn't seem so important.'

Janice beamed at him. 'That's the spirit. Okay, let's rustle up some stuff, but we'd better be _fast_.'

'Luckily, I'm doing a big latte already,' he said. 'The guy can wait.'

Janice hurried over, saying loudly, 'Here's the stuff you ordered, Ross. Enjoy.'

He looked surprised for a moment, then understanding dawned. '_Thanks_, Janice,' he said with some emphasis. Then he turned back to Rachel eagerly. Glancing at her, Janice hoped she had not picked up on anything unusual. Certainly, by the time others of their friends showed up, they were holding hands.

'Well, it looks like we did it,' Janice said to Gunther a while later.

'We haven't covered everything,' said Gunther. 'Jasmine my room-mate works with Phoebe, but there's nothing we can do about that now. You thnik Rachel will be happier not knowing?'

'Look how happy she is now,' said Janice. 'No, you were right, it's Ross we have to _worry_ about. He's really quite a _moral_ guy. It may eat him up. But that's his problem. Now, what had you in mind for this evening?'

It was close to the time that they had set for closing up, and Central Perk was virtually empty, when Rachel stormed in and marched straight up to the counter.

'You knew!' she blazed at them. 'You knew and you didn't tell me!'

'Oh oh,' said Gunther quietly.

'Yes, we knew,' said Janice calmly. 'I persuaded Gunther not to tell, so blame _me_, not him. How did you find out?'

'We were having our anniversary dinner, a day late,' said Rachel, 'and, and everything was going so well, and, and,' she began to sob, 'he burst out crying and told me! I ran out.'

Janice rushed out from behind the counter and took hold of her. 'Did he tell you everything?' she said. 'How _miserable_ he was, thinking you meant it to be over for ever? How he got _drunk_? No, I don't suppose he got the chance.'

'What difference does it make?' Rachel sobbed. 'He still _did_ it.'

'Sweetheart, men do stupid things when they're drunk,' said Janice. Gunther was hovering; she waved him away, and went on, '_Very _stupid things. In fact, they do stupid things when they're sober, too; men just_ naturally_ have a tendency to do stupid things. That's why _we_ have to be the grown-ups a lot of the time, and make _allowances_ for their tendency to do stupid things. If you had seen the guy like we did, you would know that he felt so _guilty_ … so _ashamed_. And, if you think about it, it is is a_ very_ good sign that he felt he had to tell you. He couldn't _bear_ deceiving you, even though it threatened everything he wanted.'

'Mm,' Rachel went. She had stopped sobbing and was evidently listening, though her face was still buried in Janice's shoulder.

'And another thing,' Janice whispered. 'If you forgive him, you get a _tremendous_ moral advantage. Now maybe a woman shouldn't have that over her man, but there are circumstances in which it might be _useful_, as long as you don't keep throwing it in his face. But most of all, you should think about this: do you _want_ him? You know now that he has faults, if your fights haven't shown you that already. Well, never expect a man to be _perfect_, is my advice.

'And one final thing, in case you're feeling too _self-righteous_: this is partly _your_ fault. You should _never_ have suggested that you should have a break, or let Mark come and see you. It gave Ross _all _the wrong signals. Remember: if it had been Joey, he would have been after another woman within the_ hour_. It took drink, and thinking about Mark being with you, to drive Ross to it.'

Rachel pulled back from her and looked her in the face. 'Yes,' she said. 'I can see now, I did contribute to it.' She heaved a deep sigh. 'Okay, I'll forgive him – but it better not happen again, _ever_,' she added fiercely.

'I don't think it will,' said Janice. 'Look, here he is now.'

Ross stood in the doorway, looking even worse than on the previous day. 'Tell him,' Janice hissed. 'Don't keep him on the hook, _tell_ him.'

'It's okay, Ross,' Rachel said, her voice trembling slightly. 'I can see why you did it. I still wish you hadn't, but I want to try to put it behind us.'

Ross surged forward and swept her into his arms. 'Rachel, I'll never, _never _do something like that again,' he said. 'It was … I was just so miserable.' He suddenly began to sob. Rachel took his head onto her shoulder and began to stroke it. She looked back at Janice and nodded, smiling slightly.

Gunther cleared his throat. 'Sorry to bother you, but we were just about to close up,' he said, then, proudly, 'Janice and I are going on a date.'

This was enough to divert the attention of both Ross and Rachel.

'No, _really_?' said Rachel, eyes sparkling. 'Well, good luck to you both.'

'Yes,' said Ross with heavy sincerity. 'You deserve it, both of you.'

From that day on, neither Ross nor Rachel would hear a word against Janice or Gunther from their friends, not that these were disposed to voice many when they heard the full story. Monica, in particular, was almost embarrassingly apologetic to Janice for having been so cold towards her. To divert her, Janice asked for a cake recipe, and they found common ground in talk of cookery. Phoebe just hugged her, next time she was in, and said that she always knew there was more to her than met the eye. Joey and Chandler did nothing special, but just acted in a much more friendly way towards her; Chandler seemed particularly pleased to know that she was dating someone else.

Ross and Rachel had other fights, but they were never so serious, and when they finally got married a year later, Janice was a bridesmaid and Gunther an honoured guest. The relationship between Janice and Gunther also prospered. Neither was precisely a loser, but their quirks of character and behaviour had made them rather unusual, and unattractive to many people; they found it extremely satisfying to be truly liked by another person, and in such a situation love was almost bound to follow. Eventually, with Terry's agreement, Janice became co-manager of Central Perk, and after much pressure from the friends, particularly Ross and Rachel, they agreed to take some time off and get married. All the friends came to their wedding, and they continued to frequent Central Perk as often as they could. When Janice gave way to her natural inclinations and produced her raucous laugh from time to time, they just smiled indulgently.


	6. Ross and Julie Part 1

Chapter 5: Ross and Julie

[Author's Note: This has to happen after 4, 6 (TOW The Dirty Girl), but nothing that follows in Series 4 need have happened. This is quite short, but I have not decided how it's going to come out! Any suggestions welcome :)]

Part 1

Ross felt bad. He could not remember feeling like this since the big break-up with Rachel. The second time they had hardly been together before they broke again, though it had still been painful, the more so because it had been preceded by breaking up with Bonnie, with whom he had had a lot of fun. And since then none of his dates had come close to Bonnie, let alone Rachel. He seemed to be permanently jinxed, and as a result he felt permanently bad. He tried 

not to show it too much, to avoid depressing his friends, but it was hard. How could he move on from Rachel if there was no one to move on to?

A tap on his office door interrupted his gloomy meditations. It was Donald Ledbetter. At first it was not clear what he had come about, but after meandering around for a while he came to the point.

'Ross, some of our colleagues have remarked that you seem rather depressed these days. Is there anything troubling you that we can help with?'

'Thank you, Donald,' said Ross a bit stiffly, 'but it's personal stuff – you know, girlfriend trouble, or rather, lack of girlfriend trouble.'

'You, um, didn't, er, click with Cheryl then?' said Donald, sounding embarrassed.

'No,' said Ross. 'I'm afraid our, er, lifestyle are just too different.' She is the antithesis of my sister, he thought: Miss Dirty New York 1997, and probably all-America material.

'Really?' said Donald. 'A pity. She seems such a nice girl. But one cannot force these things. Do you think a break might do you good? They've announced a snap conference in LA a week from now, to discuss the new Chinese finds. Would you like to represent the museum?'

'Donald, I'd love to,' said Ross gratefully. 'A trip away from New York might be just what I need right now.'

The next time they were in Central Perk together he told his friends.

'No trips to the zoo to look at your monkey this time,' said Phoebe.

'He doesn't need to go to the zoo to do that,' said Chandler, smirking.

'You already made a joke like that, and it wasn't funny then,' Monica observed tartly. Chandler winced.

'It's not fair, how Ross gets to go to LA when he doesn't need to, and I don't when I do need to, for my career,' said Joey discontentedly.

'Well, I think I _do need to,' said Ross. 'I really need a break.'_

A wicked look came into Rachel's eye, but evidently she thought better of whatever she had been about to say. She gave her little cough, and, looking not unsympathetically at Ross, said, 'Don't go falling for any of those Hollywood wannabes, Ross. By what I hear, some of them will eat you up and spit you out.'

'They won't be interested in a geek like Ross,' said Joey tactlessly.

'Don't you be so sure,' said Rachel. 'Some of them will go for anything in pants.'

'Thank you for the warning,' said Ross with ironical politeness. 'But I'm not likely to have time to go looking for dates anyway. The conference program is pretty intensive.'

'So you had better look for hot dinosaur geeks instead,' Chandler commented.

'You can't be hot _and a geek,' Joey protested._

'Well, Ross gives it a pretty good shot,' said Rachel, with a glint in her eye. Ross smiled at her, happy to be back at the level of friendly joshing for a moment. He knew better than to suppose it was anything more; this time, Rachel really did seem to want it to be over. The thought made him slightly depressed again. I do need to get away, he told himself.

-----

A week later, Ross was standing in line to register and chatting happily with people he knew, when he caught sight of a familiar face.

'Oh my God!' he said unconsciously.

'What's the matter, Ross?' said Jim Macnamara, a paleontologist from Boston, then, following Ross's gaze, 'Why, it's Julie Wong. Hadn't heard she was back in the country. You know her, then?'

'We … dated for a while,' said Ross. 'The parting wasn't friendly. Do you know if she has a guy?'

'Not that I've heard,' said Jim. 'Unless she has someone tucked away in China. She's over there digging most of the time these days, I hear.'

Ross gazed at Julie, remembering all the good things about her. He wondered what his life with her would have been like, if he had not gone after Rachel. Suddenly she turned, as if feeling his gaze. Her expression changed, but, before he could work out what it was now, she looked away again abruptly. Not very promising, he thought, though it was over a year since they had broken up – she should have been over hating him by now.

Much later, he and Jim and one or two others were relaxing over drinks in the hotel bar after the first lecture session, when Julie walked past.

'Hi Julie!' called Jim. 'What's new?'

'Oh hi Jim!' she said, turning, then as her eye fell on Ross, 'Who's your over-gelled friend?'

'Aw, come on, Julie, you know Ross Geller,' said Jim.

'Only too well,' she commented. 'How's the beautiful Rachel, Ross?' Her eyes looked hostile.

'We broke up,' said Ross lugubriously.

'Oh, now I wonder why that was,' she said in ironical tones. 'Had you fallen in love with someone else, maybe?'

Ross winced, as the others looked embarrassed. 'It's not funny, Julie,' he said slowly. 'Look, I'm sorry about the way things turned out, and I guess you have a right to be mad at me, but don't tease me about Rachel. It hurts too much.'

She nodded. 'Well, now you know how it feels.' She walked off, her back very straight.

'Boy, is she mad at you,' said Jim. 'You want to tell us about it? Sounds like you need a bit of sympathy.'

'Well, I don't want to bore you,' Ross began.

'Go on,' said Jim. 'If we get bored, we can always throw things.'

Ross needed no further encouragement. Out it all poured – Carol, Julie, Rachel, Chloe, Bonnie, the whole bit. The others listened in apparent fascination.

'Man, you _have had a rough time,' Jim commented. 'Well, I think we should go eat, before you start in on a crying jag. Things always look better after a good meal, is how I feel.'_

For the rest of the conference Ross kept an eye open for Julie and moved hastily in the opposite direction whenever he saw her heading his way. He had no wish for more of her sarcastic comments; he could get those from Rachel any time. But when he was waiting for a taxi to go to the airport for his plane back to New York, suddenly she popped up beside him.

'Share a taxi with me, Ross?' she said. 'I promise I won't bite.'

Hoping that she had worked through her hostility, he agreed. 'That was a great talk you gave,' he said.

She smiled. 'Why, thank you, Ross. Are you going straight back to New York?'

He nodded. 'Eleven o'clock plane.'

'Why, so am I,' she said. 'Maybe we can sit together.'

'So you want to be friends now?' he said a little warily.

She nodded. 'Jim told me a bit about what you've been through. I'm sorry about what I said.'

'Well, it was my own stupid fault, mostly,' said Ross, 'but let's not talk about it. What are your plans now this dig's over?'

By the time they were called for the plane, they were getting on as well as they had done when their relationship was beginning. Ross learned that the thing with Russ hadn't worked out. 'He just wasn't you,' she said simply. The plane was in fact full and they could not sit together, which disappointed Ross. He had decided that he wasn't going to pass up this heaven-sent chance to re-open a relationship that he often wished he had never broken, for all the great year that he'd had with Rachel. He looked for Julie at baggage collection, and caught her before she disappeared.

'Julie, this is going to seem kind of weird, maybe,' he said, 'but would you like to have dinner tomorrow night?'

She looked up at him, smiling. 'Ross Geller, are you actually asking me for a date?'

He nodded. 'I'll understand if you say no, but I hope you won't. I … have never forgotten you, Julie.'

She looked at him with a serious expression for a long moment, while he mentally crossed his fingers. Then her smile appeared again. 'Okay.'

'Great!' he said enthusiastically. 'Shall we meet at Central Perk?'

She frowned. 'Won't that upset Rachel?'

'I don't see why it should,' said Ross. 'We're completely over now. And frankly,' his face darkened as he looked away, 'I don't care if it does.' At this, unnoticed by him, Julie frowned slightly. 'The others will certainly be pleased to see you, especially Monica.'

'Okay,' she said, 'see you there around seven tomorrow.'

When Ross dropped in to Central Perk late that evening, his friends noticed at once that he had come back from LA a changed man. Characteristically, Joey asked if he'd got laid. More tactfully, Monica asked if he'd met someone new.

'Well, I met someone,' he said, 'but she's not new,' he added teasingly.

Monica looked puzzled, but Phoebe caught on. 'Julie!' she cried. 'You met Julie again.'

Ross nodded. 'She's meeting me here about seven tomorrow. She'll be happy to see you guys.'

'Well, well, well,' said Chandler. 'Off with the new love and on with the old, eh?'

Rachel had been in the rest room when Ross arrived; now she returned. 'Hi Ross!' she said in a  fairly friendly way. 'Have a good time in LA?'

'It got better,' he said, grinning, wondering if he should tell her about Julie. The others were looking at him as if they expected him to, especially Monica, but he was feeling obstinate. Rachel had put him through it with that letter business, expecting him to take all the blame for their breakup, and he hadn't really forgiven her for that.

Rachel was looking around. 'What's going on? You all seem to know something I don't.'

The looks Monica and Phoebe in particular were directing at Ross seemed to intensify. Oh hell, he thought.

'I met Julie at the conference,' he said, trying to sound casual.

'And?' Rachel prompted.

'We're going on a date tomorrow.'

Rachel seemed to go a little pale. 'Oh,' she said, and then did her cough. 'Wasn't she, um, _mad at you?'_

'She was, at first,' said Ross. 'But at the end she got more friendly.'

Rachel frowned but did not say anything more. Later, when she and Monica were back in their apartment, she began pacing up and down with a thoughtful look.

'What's up, sweetie?' said Monica.

'I don't like this business of Ross and Julie,' said Rachel. 'If it were me, I'd have been really mad at being dumped that way. I wonder if she's setting him up.'

Monica looked at her sympathetically. 'You're still not over him, are you?'

'It's not that,' Rachel snapped. 'I just don't want to see a friend get hurt.'

'I don't think Julie's like that,' Monica protested.

'Anyone can be like that,' said Rachel darkly, 'if they have enough of a motive.'

She went to bed still worrying about it, and finally decided to be there with the others when Julie showed up the next evening.


	7. Ross and Julie Part 2

Part 2

[Author's Note: Sorry this has taken so long, but at first I wasn't sure how it was going to go, and there will have to be a third part, as it now appears. Thanks for one nice review, alely7]

Ross was so nervous about Julie's reception by the others, especially Rachel, that he got to Central Perk before anyone else. In fact, Rachel was the last to arrive. Ross looked at her so apprehensively that she couldn't help giggling.

'Ross, it's _okay,' she said. 'I'm not going to __do anything, or __say anything, to make things difficult with Julie. Relax.'_

Ross smiled reluctantly, not looking totally convinced, but just at that moment Julie arrived. She looked around and beamed in response to their greetings.

'It's great to see you all again,' she said. 'I must say, it doesn't seem like the best part of two years since I was here last. You all look exactly the same, except you, Rachel – you look even better.' This was accompanied by such a warm smile that Rachel felt quite taken aback and could only stammer, 'Thanks, Julie.'

She was even more surprised when Julie came to sit on the arm of the couch next to her and said, 'I hear you got a new job.'

'Yes, I've been working in the buyers' department at Bloomingdale's for some time now,' Rachel replied.

'That must be so great for you,' said Julie. 'I remember how interested in fashion you were.' She seemed so genuinely pleased that Rachel felt quite disarmed for a moment.

'The job has its ups and downs,' she said. 'Sometimes you have to work late. But it's so great to find something that I can do and enjoy doing. You must feel the same with paleontology.'

'Right,' said Julie, 'and that has its boring times too. Say, is there room for me on the couch? This arm is not as comfortable as it looks.'

'I guess we could squeeze you in,' said Rachel cheerfully. 'Slide along there, guys.'

Monica and Phoebe shifted along, and they managed to fit Julie onto the end. Since she was small, this was not too difficult, but it was certainly rather intimate. But Julie did not seem to mind being so close to Rachel at all.

'This is cosy,' she said, smiling at her.

Rachel noticed that Ross, sitting in the chair across from Julie's end of the couch, was looking rather irritated. 'I think Ross is feeling neglected,' she whispered to Julie.

Julie giggled. 'Aw, am I neglecting you, Ross?' she said teasingly. She reached across to pat him on the knee. 'There, there. It's just so nice to catch up with your friends. So, how's the acting going, Joey?'

Joey began to hold forth on his latest acting work, and Julie listened with every appearance of interest. But before too long she switched her attention to Chandler, and by the time Ross said they really must go or they'd miss their reservation she had caught up with everyone.

As she got up, she looked around smiling and said, 'This was fun. I'll be dropping by again.' She looked particularly at Monica and Rachel, and winked. 'Perhaps we could do some shopping together.'

Rachel's mouth dropped open in surprise. When they had gone, she turned to Monica and said, 'Did you catch that? I'm _sure she was referring to that time you went to Bloomingdale's with her and I got so upset. She's up to something.'_

'How would she know about that?' Monica objected. 'Rach, you're making too much of it. She just wants to be friends.'

'With _me?' said Rachel incredulously. 'The woman who took her man away?'_

'But she knows you and Ross aren't together any more,' said Monica. 'It shouldn't be an issue.'

Rachel looked unconvinced, but said no more.

Ross did not feel that the date with Julie was going very well. Her attention seemed to keep wandering, as if she was constantly thinking of something. Finally, after he had recalled her from wherever she was for the fourth time, she focussed on him and sighed.

'I'm sorry, Ross, it's just not working,' she said apologetically. 'I don't know about you, but I can't relight the spark.'

'You seem to have something on your mind,' he said.

'Well, I do,' she admitted. 'Partly it is this, that we're not clicking. Can we … can we just be friends? And … would you mind if I dropped in at Central Perk now and again? I _do like your sister and your friends, but I would enjoy the opportunity to talk with you about our work, also. Now I'm going to be in New York for a while, as a Senior Research fellow at the U., I want a gang to hang out with. I've lost a lot of my old contacts, after all the time I've been away on digs, and the other paleontologists at the U. are old married people – we don't have anything in common.'_

'Sure, I'd like that, ' said Ross sincerely, 'especially to talk about our work. You may think my friends are great, but try to talk to any of them about anything academic and they tune out _instantly.'_

She laughed. 'I recognise the problem. My family are just the same.'

Suddenly they were getting along a whole lot better, uniting in cheerful abuse of their resolutely non-academic families and friends. Ross felt at ease, and recognised that it had probably been a mistake to try to start again with Julie. Just to be friends with her again was great, and relieved him of the pangs of guilt that he occasionally felt about the way that he had behaved.

In the following weeks Julie began to take an increasing part in the life of the friends. She was quickly recognised to perform a valuable service in diverting to herself Ross's occasional urge to talk about dinosaurs and similar mind-erodingly boring topics. She professed a love of action movies, claiming to have cut her teeth on Jackie Chan, and would happily join Joey and Chandler in watching videos, but she was equally keen to watch what they dismissed as 'chick flicks' with the women. She enticed Monica and Rachel into several shopping expeditions, on the grounds that she needed a whole new wardrobe after being away so long. She even endeared herself to Phoebe by willingly discussing Chinese beliefs about the magical and mystical with her, with apparently complete seriousness.

The other friends were soon behaving as if Julie was a seventh member of the group, and even Rachel found herself disarmed by Julie's often effervescent displays of friendliness and enthusiasm. For a while there remained at the back of her mind a tiny worry that all could not be as it seemed, but this eventually disappeared. It did not seem to her possible that Julie could be faking all this, and more and more she found herself thinking of Julie as a real friend, who lacked the occasional freakiness of Monica and the weirdness of Phoebe, and could even make talk of her professional work sound interesting to Rachel, in a way that Ross had never been able to do. 

For a while, by unspoken consent, they avoided talk of Ross, but it was impossible to keep away from this for ever. It was in fact Julie who initiated it. One Sunday when they were on their own in Central Perk, when most of the others were off watching a movie that neither wanted to see, and Phoebe was doing something on her own, she said, 'I never got the full story on why you and Ross broke up, Rachel. Do you mind telling me? It would help me to understand what's going on between you two.'

'I don't know why you should think anything is going on,' said Rachel a bit shortly. 'I certainly don't think so.'

Julie looked at her with a somewhat sceptical expression. 'As they sometimes say in England, I believe you, but thousands wouldn't. There's something there, some link between you, even though you use it half the time to goose each other.'

'Well, it's hard, when you've been together for a whole year,' said Rachel, feeling uneasy and beginning to stammer a bit. 'There's bound to be some, some left-over feelings. But I'm, I'm really over him, I really am!'

'Methinks the lady doth protest too much,' said Julie wryly, adding 'That's from _Hamlet_,' when Rachel looked bemused. 'You're trying to persuade yourself,' she went on, 'but, looking at it from the outside and coming new to it, as it were, it doesn't look that way to me.'

'I, I …' Rachel began, and then she grabbed for a handkerchief. 'Oh Julie, why did you bring this up?' she wailed. 'It's so hard, to think that you've made a dreadful mistake that you can never undo!'

'What mistake?' said Julie, leaning forward intently.

'That goddamn _letter_!' Rachel sobbed. 'I had got to where I was ready to take him back, I had more or less admitted that I still loved him, and then I had to go and throw it all away, when I _knew_ how touchy he was about the original break-up.'

Julie was looking mystified. 'Now this is why I asked,' she said. 'I don't know much about this.'

She moved to sit next to Rachel and put an arm round her as she continued to sob.

'Rachel,' she said, 'I'm going to make a confession. For a while, I really hated you, and when I met Ross again and made friendly with him, it was with some idea of getting to where I could get some of my own back on you.' 

Rachel stopped sobbing, pulled away from her, and sat up straight, looking at her open-mouthed. Julie looked directly back at her. 'I'm not exactly proud of this,' she said, 'but you have to see it from my point of view – and to remember that you have behaved similarly. Do you think I didn't spot that you were trying to hold up my big night with Ross? I'm not that dumb. But I outplayed you, then.'

Rachel began to speak, but Julie held up a hand. 'Just let me finish,' she said. 'Then you can yell at me if you want. What I want to say is, the friendship that has developed between us these past weeks has been real. I have given up those ideas. You are just too likable, and anyway, I have begun to feel a bit sorry for you, because anyone can see you want to get back with Ross but are too proud to let him know that, this time. So that's why I asked for the whole story – because I want to try to help. Indeed, why don't you tell me everything from the beginning? You haven't done this to anyone outside the group, have you? Not even your mother? I'm here to listen, as someone who has _not_ been involved with you both for a long time. Maybe I could even suggest something you could do.'

She stopped and looked at Rachel expectantly. Rachel opened her mouth and then shut it again. What Julie had said was making her think. She looked down, and fidgeted, as she realised that there was something she ought to say, since Julie had been so honest with her.

'Julie,' she muttered, still looking down, 'I'm sorry for what I did then. I can't say I'm sorry for telling Ross that I had feelings for him, because it just seemed so impossible not to, and anyway I was drunk when I sent him that closure message, but I _am_ sorry for trying to sabotage your relationship with him. I did that more than you know, and it's not something I'm particularly proud of, now.' She looked at her hands, trying desperately not to burst out crying again.

Julie's arm came around her shoulder, and she kissed her gently on the cheek. 'That was well done,' Julie said softly. 'Now we are square. Try not to cry; just tell me the story, and let's see if we can learn something from it all. That is, if you are willing to admit that you do still have feelings for Ross and would like something to happen between you again. To be honest, I think he feels that way too, but like you he just won't admit it.'

'Oh, do you think so?' Rachel cried, forgetting her tears in her sudden excitement. 'Oh Julie, do you really think that?'

'Of course,' said Julie, seeming a little offended. 'I wouldn't have said it otherwise. Please believe me, Rachel. I have given up all ideas of trying to set you, or Ross, up for something. I want to see you guys happy.'

'Oh, I'm sorry, Julie,' said Rachel, 'but I've never been certain if he felt anything for me any more. I think that's partly why I have a dig at him occasionally – to get some reaction that might tell me, though it never does,' she ended sadly.

'And that's probably why he does it to you,' said Julie, 'and you never get the reaction you want because he's as stubborn as you about showing it. Okay, the story.'

Rachel needed no further encouragement. She poured it all out, from the time she had run away from her wedding onwards. It was, as Julie had indicated it would be, a relief to tell it all to someone who had not been there and so would think that they did not need to be told half of it. Julie never let her attention wander, though she interrupted the flow from time to time to order more coffee, and once some cookies. When she came to the end, Rachel was dry, for all the coffee she had drunk, but she knew there was one thing more she had to say.

'Julie,' she said, 'You have been really great to listen to me like this. Are you sure _you_ don't want to get back with him? Because maybe you would be better for him, and if I could help you do that, then maybe I _could_ get over him and move along with my life.'

Julie shook her head. 'That's noble, but it's totally quixotic, which translates as, 'Goldie, that's _dumb_,' if you know that old line from the Rowan and Martin Laugh-In. It would _kill _you to help me get back together with Ross, so it's just as well I don't want to. I found that out on our dinner date. No, I think you should try again with him, and see if third time is the charm, either way, without distractions like being on a break and stupid letters and so forth.'

She settled back in a manner that reminded Rachel of one of her professors at the U. in a supervision. 'You know, if you think about it, Rachel, there is a pattern here. Each time it has been something you did that precipitated the break, but on both occasions Ross has been the one actually to make a crucial decision that involved notable stupidity on his part.'

Rachel frowned, not sure she understood. 'Please explain, Julie.'

'You said that about taking a break,' said Julie, 'and you let Mark come over, which you should _never _have done. But it was Ross's decision to interpret and act on these in a particular way, when there were other possibilities, especially since you had been constantly telling him there was nothing between you and Mark. You know, hearing about that made me want to shake him. Why did he give up on you so easily? 

'As for the letter bit: well, you wrote it, but why wasn't he honest with you? Why didn't he just admit he hadn't read it all, because he fell asleep? It was a reasonable thing to say, given the time you gave it to him. Then, if you had had to tell him what was in it, at least you could have had the whole business out before you thought you were getting together again. Probably you would have stayed apart, because he wouldn't have accepted your view of things, but at least there wouldn't have been this extra load of bitterness between you, and maybe, if you'd argued over it, he could have come up with some stuff that would have made you see you were being a bit unreasonable, in wanting him to take _all _the blame.'

'I know,' said Rachel miserably. 'I know, I know, I know! I go over and over the argument that I might have had with him in my head. Of course, in my head I'm_ winning_ the argument, but at least we have it, and I have to think really hard to answer some of his points in a way that will satisfy me. Do you suppose he does the same?'

'We never really know what goes on in men's heads,' said Julie, 'any more than they know what goes on in ours. But I would guess that he might well do that.'

'Well, what do you think?' said Rachel. 'Is there any hope, or …' her voice faltered, but she bit her lip hard. 'I must _not_ cry,' she told herself fiercely. 'It's time to grow up a bit.'

Julie patted her on the knee. 'I think there is hope,' she said, 'and the main reason is, you're still friends. You see a lot of each other. That makes it more difficult in some ways – you _would_ have gotten over each other by this time if you'd been apart, is my guess – but much easier if you want to get together again. Also, it is a good thing that you are trying to see it from his point of view, in these mental arguments of yours. That means you have moved away from thinking that it's all his fault.'

'So, what do you think I should do?' said Rachel, looking at Julie with renewed hope.

'Well, for one thing, stop having a dig at him, even when he is being a bit ridiculous,' said Julie. 'It will only going on stirring up his latent resentment. Leave that to the others. Don't give in to the temptation to answer in kind if he does it to you, either. You'd do better to make it look as if he was making you unhappy. That will make him feel remorseful, with any luck. And just make nice, without overdoing it. Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, in fact, for a start. It's going to take some thought to devise any more specific plan of action that might take effect in the near future. Let me work on it.'

'Oh Julie!' said Rachel, and suddenly overcome with a rush of affection she leaned forward and hugged her enthusiastically. 'I'm so _glad_ we had this conversation. You've given me a lot to think about, and a chance to move forward from this place where I've been stuck, and whatever comes of it, I'll _always_ love you for that.' She looked at her watch. 'They should be out from the movie by now. Do you want to go up to Monica's and see if they're back?'

'No, you go along,' said Julie, sounding a bit strained. 'I should be getting home.' 

But when Rachel had gone off, with a notable spring in her step, Julie sat there for a while with her thoughts. 'Nice work, Julie,' she said to herself. 'You had to do it. You knew it was asking for trouble, but you went ahead and did it anyway. You told yourself you wanted revenge, but it wasn't that at all, was it?You just wanted to see _her_ again, after keeping away all this time, and now what's happened? You've really gone and fallen for her, and you've talked yourself into a position where you'll be helping her to get what she clearly wants, which means you'll _never_ get what_ you_ want.'

Julie had known for a long time that she had the capacity to be emotionally and sexually interested in either sex. She had also recognised, when she was with Ross, that she found Rachel dangerously attractive. The pain she had felt when Ross dumped her for Rachel had been compounded by this. Rachel's revelations, which showed that she had not had an easy time of it since then, had taken the edge off any lingering resentment and strengthened Julie's feelings towards her. But they had led Julie to put herself in a position where she was bound to wind up feeling pain, either on her own behalf or on Rachel's.

'Yeah, really nice work,' she went on, beginning to mutter aloud. 'And you had the nerve to tell her _she_ was quixotic! _Dumb_, Julie – _really_ dumb.'

Gunther was clearing away Rachel's cup and saucer, handling them tenderly. He turned to Julie.

'Did you say something?'

Julie looked at him. 'Why is it traditional to show blondes as dumb, in the shows and films?' she burst out. 'While a brunette is played as smart, and anyone of Chinese origin is _real_ smart, right, like that Ling in _Ally McBeal_, or me – Senior Research Fellow and all? Huh. I'm as dumb as the next guy.'

'Well, _I'm_ the next guy,' said Gunther with a rather edgy grin. 'But maybe I _am_ dumb, to be hung up on Rachel the way I am,' he added, more quietly but loud enough for Julie to hear.

'You too, huh?' said Julie unthinkingly.

Gunther's eyes widened. '_You_ have a crush on her?'

Julie sighed, but the words had been said. She just had to hope Gunther had a tolerant nature. 'Yeah,' she said, 'a really bad one – and here I am, promising to try to help her get back with Ross. That's why I was saying I was dumb.'

Gunther did not seem to be at all bothered by Julie's admission of a homosexual crush on Rachel. He simply shook his head mournfully. 'She _wants_ to get back with Ross, after everything?'

Julie nodded. Gunther sighed. 'I'm not sure he's good for her,' he said. 'He's too jealous and possessive.'

'He's not always that way,' said Julie. 'Believe me, she told me the whole story from her point of view. And I was his girlfriend for a while. He has a very good side.'

'I heard her telling you the story,' said Gunther. 'Okay, I admit it, I'm prejudiced against the guy. So, you're really going to do that?'

'I said I would,' said Julie. 'I've already given her advice. Whether I can really do more and come up with a plan to get them together …' She shrugged. 'I feel bound to try. She's so open in her affection, you know? Like just now, when she hugged me. It's better than nothing.'

'I envy you,' said Gunther, sounding bitter. 'She's never hugged me, or even talked intimately.' He gave a large sigh. 'Oh well… if you want my help, ask. I might be able to do something.'

'Thanks, Gunther,' she said. 'I'm Julie Wong, by the way, if you don't remember, and why should you? I wasn't around for all that long. I'll be seeing you.' She went out.


	8. Ross and Julie Part 3

Chapter 5 Part 3

[Author's Note: an unprecedented third part, even longer than before, and _still_ I can't get it done! It will certainly end with the next chapter, I promise. Don't expect it to be all plain sailing from now, though; more surprises planned]

From that time onwards, Rachel tried to put Julie's advice into practice. To the initial surprise of their friends, she refused to rise to the bait that Ross's often geekish behaviour offered, and when he teased her for some thoughtless remark, or needled her when he got a date, she did not respond in kind but ignored him, or simply gave him a smile. Once, when his comment was particularly barbed, she looked at him in a hurt sort of way, but relieved her feelings by muttering 'Some people think they are so smart,' to herself under her breath.

'What's that, Rachel?' said Chandler, leaning forward eagerly.

'Oh, nothing anyone needs to hear,' she said nonchalantly.

'Not even Ross?' he pursued.

'No,' she responded, trying to look as if she did not understand why Ross should be picked out, 'not even Ross.'

'Oh, you're no fun any more!' he cried in mock frustration.

'Oh Chandler, what a thing to say!' Julie put in. 'Of course Rachel's fun – I think so, anyway.'

Rachel smiled at her. 'I just don't see the fun in cutting at each other all the time,' she said. 'Sometimes people can take things seriously, even when they're not meant that way.'

All of a sudden Ross looked a bit shamefaced, but he made no comment himself. Thereafter, Rachel noticed, he was much more restrained in his teasing and left off needling her altogether, which she had to admit was a welcome development. But to her alarm, he also seemed at the same time to be becoming more distant. She commented as much to Julie when they left Central Perk one day to do some window-shopping.

'That was always a possibility,' said Julie, frowning a little. 'He could be moving to a stage where he really does think of you as nothing but his friend. Now is the time to start giving him hints that you feel more than that about him.'

Rachel looked at her gratefully, and suddenly reached an arm across and hugged Julie to her for a moment. 'Thanks, Julie,' she said. 'I couldn't ask for a better friend.'

A pang of desire that was almost painful shot through Julie. Oh God, she thought, I want to be more than your friend so _much. Involuntarily she moaned._

'What's the matter?' said Rachel in concern. 'Did I hug you too hard?'

'No, no, it's okay,' Julie gasped hurriedly. 'Just … a thought.'

Rachel did not look wholly convinced, and for the rest of the day she showed a tendency to drift off in thought, that was so pronounced that the others noticed.

'Anyone on your mind?' said Phoebe archly, on one such occasion.

'Oh no,' said Rachel, smiling, then, with a brief look across at Ross, 'no more than usual, anyway.'

Monica and Phoebe caught each other's eye and exchanged meaningful glances, and Ross gave her a brief grin, but it looked strained, and to Rachel's disappointment he made no response. In the next days, when she gave him comparable hints, he looked uneasy, or made a joke of it in the way that Chandler would do, suggesting that someone like Rachel could not possibly be interested in him. It was all very worrying, and she had made up her mind to get Ross on his own and come straight out with the fact that she still had strong feelings for him, when suddenly he was hardly ever around. He still appeared at breakfast in the apartment, but his mind was obviously elsewhere, and he never stayed long in Central Perk, just exchanging a few comments and gulping down his coffee before hurrying off again. 

This changed pattern of behaviour did not go unnoticed, and the others began speculating on it one day in Central Perk. Tactless as she sometimes was, Phoebe was the one to suggest that Ross must have started seeing someone, and it was hotting up. Rachel sat bolt upright, feeling as if an icy hand had gripped her heart. 

Monica looked at her with concern and hastily said, 'Oh, maybe it's just there's some big project on at the museum.'

Rachel relaxed, to stiffen again when Chandler said, 'Yeah, but usually we hear _all_ about that.'

Phoebe and Joey groaned in sympathy, but then Phoebe looked at Rachel also. She had gone pale, and Phoebe cursed herself for her thoughtlessness. Then Monica leaned in to Rachel and murmured, 'I'll see what I can find out.'

'Thanks, Mon,' said Rachel with real gratitude. She tried to keep calm, but mentally she was in turmoil. Could Ross really have found someone else? Unfortunately, Julie was not there to analyse the situation for her. Suddenly Chandler caught on, and he nudged Joey heavily in the ribs when he appeared about to start in on further speculation about Ross's love life.

Over the next days Rachel felt progressively worse and worse. If Monica had found anything out, she wasn't telling, but Rachel noticed that she seemed to start being unusually kind to her, and that Phoebe, Chandler and Joey were also treating her with notable indulgence. Then she began to notice them getting together in little groups and talking urgently, too quietly to be heard, and stopping conversations suddenly when she came into Central Perk. After a week, she had had enough.

'Okay, you guys,' she said when all except Ross were gathered in Central Perk early one Saturday evening. 'What's up? You're keeping something from me, I can tell. Is it about Ross?' She kept her tone light, with some effort.

'Yeah, I'd like to know what's going on too,' said Julie.

The others looked at each other.

'The jig's up,' said Chandler. 'We can't keep it hidden any longer.'

Monica sighed. 'I'm afraid you're right.' She reached out and took Rachel's hand. 'Sweetie, it is about Ross. He' – she swallowed – 'he has a new girl-friend, and it seems pretty serious. He hasn't brought her in, because he didn't want to upset you, so he says. I … I was hoping it might peter out, which is why I didn't tell you.' 

'_I_ think he's starting to, y'know, distance himself from us, the rat,' said Phoebe hotly.

'Now, Pheebs – ' Chandler protested.

'I know what you're going to say,' Phoebe snapped. 'People have to grow, we can't live in our little self-contained world for ever, all that psychological crap Roger used to spout. Well, maybe so, but he didn't have to do it like _this_.'

Monica squeezed Rachel's hand. 'H-how are you taking this, sweetie?' she said softly. There were tears in her eyes.

Rachel felt numb. Her worst fears had been realised, yet it seemed she could not feel anything. 'I … don't know,' she said. 'I can't seem to take it in. This, you think this is really the _end of me and Ross?' Her eyes pleaded with Monica to hold out some hope._

Monica swallowed again, her face showing the pain that Rachel thought she ought to be feeling. She seemed to choke back a sob. 'Barring some kind of miracle, yes,' she got out.

'Who, who is it?' Rachel stammered. 'Anyone we know?'

'Some floozie in that museum,' Phoebe snarled. 'They seem to be in never-ending supply. Why can't they, like, date their own kind and leave Ross alone?'

'But he _is_ their own kind, Phoebe,' said Julie gently. 'That's always been a factor you have all tended to overlook. Even Carol, as a teacher, was naturally closer to him in interests and bent of character than you guys are, to be honest.'

Rachel suddenly felt light-headed. Her sight went dark for a moment, she had a falling sensation, and then she recovered to find herself lying across Monica's knees, with Monica, Phoebe and Julie looking down at her, Chandler and Joey hovering behind them, and even Gunther in the offing, all with sad expressions. Monica had tear-streaks running down her face.

'What happened?' Rachel croaked.

'You blacked out for a moment,' said Phoebe.

'Oh God, Rach, is there _anything_ we can do?' said Monica in a heartfelt tone.

'I – ' Rachel got out, before she choked and began to sob. But this was only for a moment; then she tried to pull herself together, biting her lip hard again. 'I don't know what to do,' she said sadly. 'Everything … my hopes, my dreams … they're all dead and gone.' She sniffed, and bit her lip again.

'You know what might help,' said Phoebe rather tentatively. 'You could have a wake, like the Irish do. They drink in honour of the dead. It could give you, y'know, some kind of closure.'

Rachel sat up. 'That's not a bad idea,' she said. 'Maybe we could even go to an Irish bar, find some fun, music and singing and all that. I think I could use something like that. Who's with me?'

'I am,' said Julie at once, and Phoebe followed suit a moment later. Monica sighed and said, 'I suppose someone will have to look after you all and keep you out of mischief. Count me in.'

Rachel looked at the men. Joey shook his head. 'Got a big date tonight. I can't show up with drink on my breath.'

Chandler looked acutely uncomfortable. 'I, er, don't think this is my sort of occasion,' he stammered. 'You'd be better off without me.'

Phoebe made noises obviously intended to sound like a chicken.

'No, maybe he's right,' said Monica. 'A girls-only wake seems appropriate for the end of a love.'

Involuntarily Rachel sobbed, and Monica looked at her very apologetically and squeezed her hand again. 'I'm sorry, sweetie,' she said. 'I'm not thinking straight.'

'That's okay,' said Rachel softly. 'Come on, let's hunt up a nice cheerful bar.'

Gunther preceded them to the door. 'I'm sorry, Rachel,' was all he said, but his eyes looked a lot more. Oh God, he has a crush on me, Rachel realised, but she did not want even to think about the implications of that. 'Thanks, Gunther,' she managed to say in a fairly level voice.

Her memories of that night were not very distinct later, but she did remember that they had first found an Irish bar where there was a live band. The music, singing and easy drink-fuelled friendship with other patrons had carried Rachel onwards on a tide of increasingly wild gaiety, but eventually she felt restless, and from there they had gone on, winding up in a karaoke bar, where all had performed. By the time she got the urge to move again, it was getting late but she was not in the mood to go home.

'Let's do something really wild,' she said eagerly to the others. 'Let's go to a strip club and laugh at all the men drooling over the girls.'

'I'm not sure they'd like that, sweetie,' said Monica anxiously, 'and the drinks in those places are ridiculously overpriced.'

'I wanna go!' Rachel cried, stamping her foot petulantly.

'Just for a short time, then,' said Monica. 'It's really quite late.'

'We must stick with her,' Julie whispered. 'She's not in a fit state to be out on her own.'

As it turned out, they were not in the strip club for long. The first drink, which was as overpriced as Monica expected, but at least was strong, turned Rachel into a rather maudlin drunk. She began telling her sad story to men at a neighbouring table, who were not interested and quickly got restive, and they were asked to leave.

When they were outside again, the streets were nearly empty.

'Why is there never a cab around when you want one?' Monica complained as she scanned the street, while Phoebe and Julie supported Rachel, who was definitely unsteady on her feet.

'Hey, we're not far from my apartment,' said Julie. 'Let's take her there. She can sleep over if necessary.'

This looked like the best option, so with some effort they got Rachel to the apartment. But the walk did not clear her head, and she had hardly been settled in a chair before she passed out.

_'Now_ what are we going to do?' said Monica, shaking her head in irritation.

'Leave her here,' said Julie. 'I've got a spare bed. You can bring round some clean clothes in the morning. I guess she won't be up and about very early. She'll feel awful tomorrow, poor thing.' She looked down at Rachel with considerable affection.

'Okay, let's get her to your bed,' said Phoebe. They carried Rachel to the bed, undressed her down to her underwear and tucked her up. During this she came to, but only looked at them, smiled vaguely, and closed her eyes again. Julie fetched a basin in case of 'accidents', and then Monica and Phoebe phoned for a cab and left.

Rachel slept through the night without trouble, but when she woke, with the distinct impression that someone had just kissed her on the cheek, and found herself in a strange bed, she moved her head in trying to look around and instantly regretted it. She moaned and shut her eyes again, but this induced a feeling of nausea that strengthened; suddenly, she felt she had to throw up. Sitting up quickly, she noticed the basin thoughtfully provided and made immediate use of it.

'You're probably the better for that,' said a cheerful voice. She turned her head very cautiously, to see Julie smiling at her from the doorway. 'Now you may not agree,' she went on, 'but I think it would be a good idea to get some food inside you – dry toast, maybe. But first, some coffee?'

'Thanks, Julie,' Rachel croaked. 'Coffee sounds good, I think. But I need to wash my face.'

Julie gave her a robe and showed her the bathroom. Shortly she was seated in Julie's kitchen, feeling a little better. She stared into her coffee, trying to remember the night before.

'I didn't do anything too awful, did I?' she asked apprehensively.

'You were _fine_,' said Julie reassuringly. 'You did have a tendency to get very friendly very fast and once or twice you started telling people the story of you and Ross, whether they wanted to hear it or not, but if everyone on a bender behaved like you the world would be a better place, especially on Saturday nights.'

Rachel laughed, but then looked gloomy. 'Yeah, me and Ross,' she muttered.

'How are you feeling about that?' said Julie softly.

'It's … a dull ache,' said Rachel, 'but, oh Julie, it feels like it's part of me.' She raised her head, and Julie was saddened by the pain in her eyes. 'I probably shouldn't ask this,' Rachel said, 'but who else can I ask? How did you get over Ross?'

'Well,' said Julie, 'I had my work. It helps to have something fairly demanding to do. Then there was that guy Russ, but like you I found he was just too like Ross without being him. It just felt weird. When I broke up with him, well, I got into a very active research program in China, and since I came back I've been working on publishing the results. That's what archaeologists and paleontologists are supposed to do – no good digging stuff up if you don't publish it. So, when I saw Ross again, I was over him, really. It hurt at first, to be reminded, which is why I was nasty to him. But that seems like it was a last flicker. Since then, I've been able to relate to him as a friend – ' She stopped abruptly, when she perceived that Rachel was desperately trying not to cry.

'That's going to be so hard,' said Rachel in a half-whisper, 'after all we were to each other – and continuing to see him a lot, except that I'm not, at the moment. Oh Julie, have I ruined my life?' 

Finally the tears came. Julie rushed over, knelt down beside her and pulled her into an embrace. 'Let it out, Rachel,' she said. 'It may help. No, I don't think you've ruined your life. You're young still, too young to despair like that. There's plenty of guys out there who are every bit as good as Ross – I could name you some nice paleontologists.' She paused, but Rachel did not respond to this lame attempt at humour, simply crying harder. 'Oh, my poor baby,' said Julie, a tear or two coming from her own eyes in sympathy as she pulled Rachel's head onto her shoulder and patted her, trying to be comforting.

Finally Rachel began to recover. 'I think … I could eat something,' she said softly. 'I feel all hollow inside.'

Getting off her knees with some relief, Julie said, 'I'll do you some toast first – it's good for an upset stomach – and then maybe you could try a boiled egg, say? Or I can dig out some muffins and jelly.'

Rachel gave her a watery smile. 'Muffins would be fine, after a piece of toast.'

Not much later, Julie sat opposite Rachel in the kitchen, watching her eat with increasing appetite. If only it could always be like this, she thought happily, just hanging out in my home with the one I love. Rachel looked up and smiled at her, and she smiled back. Suddenly Rachel seemed to freeze, muffin halfway to her mouth, and her gaze went unfocussed for a long moment.

Then she fixed her gaze on Julie and carefully put her muffin down. 'Julie,' she said softly, 'have you got a crush on me?'

Oh God, Julie thought. She must have shown it in the way she was smiling at her. 'W-why should you think that?' she temporised.

'_Julie_,' Rachel repeated insistently. 'The truth, please.' She did not look mad; her face was calm. But she seemed determined to know.

Julie sighed and her shoulders slumped as she let the tension go. 'Yes,' she muttered, then, more loudly, 'God, yes.'

'For how long have you felt like this?' Rachel continued in the same soft tone.

Julie gulped. 'Almost as long as I've been back.'

Rachel frowned. 'That long?'

Julie decided to be completely frank. 'I was attracted to you from the start. When I came back, it was really to see you.'

Rachel nodded. 'And you had kept away because of me, or because of Ross?'

'Both,' Julie admitted, 'but mainly you.'

'Then,' said Rachel, still softly, 'all this time you have been trying to help me get back with Ross, you wanted me yourself?'

Oh God, oh God, oh _God_, thought Julie. Please let her not be mad. 'Yes,' she said. 'I, I wanted you to be happy.'

Rachel said nothing for a moment, her gaze wandering off, then it fixed on Julie again. 'Do you know how that makes me feel?'

Julie felt almost hypnotised by her calm blue stare. She could not have looked away if her life depended on it. She simply shook her head. _Please_, she prayed.

'That's the saddest thing I ever heard,' said Rachel, her voice all at once sounding full of sympathy. 'But' – a wonderful smile spread across her face – 'it makes me feel _great_, that _someone_ loves me.'

She held out her hand. Julie hitched her chair around and took it, her heart beating so hard that she felt incapable of speech. Was this happening?

'Julie, I have never been here before,' said Rachel, 'and I just don't know how far I can return your feelings, but … I'm _not rejecting you. You have been the __best friend to me. Have you … fallen in love with women before?'_

Her expression was so open and trusting, Julie found it easy to talk again. 'I had a brief affair with my room-mate my first year in college. It was very intense while it lasted; we certainly thought we were in love. But it was mostly about sex, really, and when she got interested in a guy, that was the end of it.'

'That's sad,' said Rachel sympathetically.

'Oh, it didn't take me long to find out I could get interested in guys too,' said Julie, grinning. 'In fact, I went out deliberately to do it.'

'Once, when we were a bit drunk, I made out for a while with a friend in college,' said Rachel in fond reminiscence. 'We were all dressed up for a Polynesian luau, and wore coconut shells over our boobs – they kept knocking together.' She giggled, so infectiously that Julie found herself giggling too. 'That's my only experience of girl-girl stuff. But I remember, in high school some girls seemed to have a crush on me. I can be a bitch sometimes, as you know,' – she flashed her a grin – 'and I never discouraged it. But Monica was my_ best_ friend, and I'm sure she never had that kind of feelings about me.' She gave Julie's hand a little squeeze, and smiled, looking deep into her eyes. 'I'm very _very flattered,' she said, 'but I __really don't know how I feel about this. Can you … can you bear to give me time? This is so new, and the Ross thing is so raw still.'_

'Of course,' said Julie, squeezing back. 'It is more than I could have hoped for, that you're not rejecting me out of hand.'

'I could never do that,' said Rachel, 'not to you. It would be too cruel.' She smiled again. 'I will say this: it makes me feel _so much better.'_

'I'm glad,' said Julie, her heart feeling full to overflowing. For smiles like Rachel's just then, she would do almost anything.

'You know who else has a crush on me?' said Rachel, suddenly looking mischievous. 'Gunther!'

'Oh, I know,' said Julie. 'He overheard me telling myself how dumb I was, and admitted that he was dumb too, to be so hung up on you. I was so surprised, I just said, "You too?" So he knows, at least that I have feelings for you.'

Rachel nodded. 'Okay, I can handle that. But what do you think I should do? I don't want to hurt the guy, particularly because I see now how kind he was when I was being such a crappy waitress, but I could never get interested in him. Anyway, I shouldn't do anything like that, when you have told me you have feelings for me.'

Julie's heart leaped at this indication that Rachel was taking her seriously. 'We should try to set him up with someone nice,' she suggested. 'But we need to find out more about him first. We don't really know what makes him tick.'

'He shares a room with Phoebe's colleague at her massage place, Jasmine,' said Rachel. 'Maybe we should ask her about him.'

When Monica arrived near midday with some clean clothes for Rachel, she found them deep in animated conversation, surrounded by crumb-laden plates and empty coffee mugs.

'My my!' she said. 'You seem to have sidestepped a hangover very neatly, Rachel.'

'Julie's been looking after me the _best way,' said Rachel enthusiastically. 'Mon, thanks so much for being with me last night. I really appreciate it.' As she said this, she watched Monica closely for any hint that she too might have a crush on her. Given their history, it would not be impossible. She was undoubtedly relieved when Monica's answering grin showed nothing but friendly affection._

'Anything for you, Rach,' she said. 'But how are you feeling, really?'

'A lot better,' said Rachel, carefully not looking at Julie. 'I … the wake really seems to have helped.' She made a decision. 'Tell Ross he doesn't have to keep his girlfriend out of sight, if that's what he's doing. I'd be interested to meet her.'

Monica's mouth dropped open. Then she looked suspicious. 'Rach, you're not planning anything, are you? And won't it make you unhappy, like it did with' – she had been going to say 'Julie' and hastily replaced it with 'Bonnie'.

Rachel shook her head. 'No, honestly, no plans. I've got to find a way to get over Ross, or my life will never go anywhere.'

'If you say so,' said Monica, still looking rather uncertain. 'Okay, I must get to the restaurant, but I'll see you guys later.'

When she had gone, Rachel looked at Julie apologetically. 'I'm sorry I had to lie a little.'

'Oh, but Rachel, I couldn't expect you to go around _telling everyone that I had a crush on you,' said Julie quickly. 'We can't possibly go public on it until we know how you feel, if then. My college affair was secret, so I have no experience of "coming out" among friends.'_

'Well,' said Rachel after a slightly uncomfortable moment of silence, 'I'd better change. Um, could I use your shower? I feel I need it, after all that running around last night.'

'Of course,' said Julie, trying not to show how arousing she found the thought of Rachel in the shower.

But Rachel looked at her knowingly. 'Oh, I'm sorry,' she said, sounding sincere. 'That's going to make it worse for you. I'd better go home to do that.'

'No, have your shower,' said Julie. 'I can control myself.'

'Did you kiss me just before I woke up?' Rachel asked casually, as she got up.

Julie gulped. 'Yes, I'm sorry, but – ' I just couldn't resist, she thought to herself.

'Don't be sorry,' said Rachel. 'Come here.' She held out her arms.

Rather hesitantly, Julie approached. Rachel put her arms round her, reminded once again how small she was, and kissed her gently on the top of her head. She could feel Julie trembling, and recognised in herself a desire to make Julie feel good.

'I think,' she said carefully, 'I _think this could go somewhere.'_

Julie's heart overflowed. She burst into tears, happy tears, tears of hope, and now it was Rachel's turn to comfort her. After a while she gently disengaged herself.

'Must have that shower,' she said. 'Then, what say we go up to Central Perk and see the gang, or on to Chandler and Joey's if they're not there? I want to show them that I am not a terminal case.'

Julie beamed up at her. 'I'd go anywhere with you.'

Rachel grinned and sang, 'I'd do anything – for you,' from _Oliver_, rather off-key. 'I'll try to be quick,' she said, and whisked into the bathroom with a last smile.

Julie began to tidy away and wash up the breakfast crockery, smiling to herself. It had gone better than she had any right to expect, and whatever the future held, she had no regrets about telling Rachel.

In the shower, Rachel was also smiling to herself. She was glad that she had verified what she had been beginning to suspect, and, while she was still very unsure about her feelings for Julie, it was undoubtedly the most exciting thing that had happened to her for some time.


	9. Ross and Julie, Part 4 final!

Chapter 5 Part 4

 [Author's Note: as people should realise, some of what happens in Series 4 happens in this version of events, and some does not, so there is no point in complaining, 'But that's not what happened in Episode xx …' If it's not referred to here, it didn't happen.

This is another place I can respond to reviews. Thanks for the latest two; but may I point out that I've done Ross and Phoebe, in TOW All the Reversals, and I also got Joey and Janice together in that, but off-stage, as it were. To do them within the Friends format will be difficult, but, okay, I'll think about it]

'Well, I can't ever remember being eager to see who Ross's new girlfriend was before,' said Rachel to Julie, grinning.

Julie smiled back at her, hoping that it did not look strained. Ever since the fateful morning when she had revealed her feelings for Rachel, and Rachel had seemed rather receptive, she had been hoping to take things further. But Rachel, while behaving in an extremely sweet and friendly way towards her, had seemingly forgotten what she had said about the possibility of this going somewhere, and had given no other sign that she was interested in pursuing it. Julie had not found the nerve or the opportunity to push her on this yet, but it was making her increasingly frustrated.

'That's very good, if you can feel like that about it,' she found the wit to remark.

'Well, of course, I've barely _seen Ross for some time,' said Rachel, 'and certainly not with another woman since you – and you weren't showing all that much interest in __him!' She dug Julie in the ribs and winked at her. 'I don't know how I'll react, honestly. But having you here is a great help.'_

Oh yeah, tell me about it, said Julie to herself. It seemed like her role in life was becoming to give Rachel the emotional support of knowing that someone loved her, without getting anything in return except a few smiles. Rachel could get that from Gunther, although, to give Rachel her due, she had not encouraged Gunther, except to behave in a more thoughtful way towards him.

'There she is!' cried Phoebe, who had been keeping her eyes on the window. 'And, oh my! She looks _tough_.'

Into Central Perk with Ross came a tall woman, almost as tall as Ross himself, with a rangy but well-shaped figure, an attractive, rather tanned and experienced-looking face, short wavy brown hair, arresting dark brown eyes, and a very self-confident air. She wore a short-sleeved khaki shirt and light tan slacks. It only needed a hat and whip to make her the complete female Indiana Jones.

'Hi everybody!' said Ross animatedly. 'This is Diana Featherstone, who has a temporary job at the Museum for a spell, to help us in sorting out some new accessions.' He began to introduce them, coming to Rachel and Julie last of all.

'Julie?' said Diana, her attention suddenly focussing; previously she had been nodding and smiling and saying 'Hi' a bit distractedly, as if trying to keep track of who everybody was. 'Julie Wong?' It became clear then that she was British, though she had evidently lived in the States long enough to say 'Hi' with an American intonation.

'Why, yes,' said Ross. 'Sorry, we know each other so well that we don't use surnames much.'

'Julie Wong!' said Diana excitedly, moving forward and stretching a hand out. 'I'm _so_ pleased to meet you.' When Julie took her hand, Diana shook it vigorously. 'I _must tell you how much I admire your work.' Suddenly the self-confident air had vanished, to be replaced by a starstruck look._

'Why, thank you,' said Julie, seeming dazed.

'You're everything I want to be,' said Diana breathlessly. 'I haven't done half of what you have, although I'm a year older.' She turned to Ross. 'You don't mind if I carry off Miss Wong to talk for a while? I can't pass up this golden opportunity.' She looked pleadingly at Julie. 'That is, if _you don't mind. I'd love to talk to you. You were my hero when I was a postgraduate in Oxford.'_

Julie smiled broadly. 'No, let's go talk digs and dinosaurs where we won't bore the others rigid,' she said. 'Which was your college in Oxford? I spent a year there as an undergraduate.'

Chatting animatedly, they moved away to an empty table. Ross looked after them with an air of slight perplexity, then turned to the others, grinning. 'Isn't she great?'

Hastily they all turned from observing Julie and Diana together and agreed. 'Not your usual style, Ross,' Chandler commented.

'She's been around,' Ross agreed. 'But it's true, Julie has done a lot more. She just doesn't look the adventurous type.'

He sat down in the place that Julie had left, and smiled at Rachel. 'Thanks for your message,' he said. 'That was very … mature of you. Frankly, I was a bit surprised.'

'Well, I like to think I've grown up a little,' said Rachel lightly. 'So, you've found another dinosaur-lover? It makes sense, when you think about it.'

'She's so amazing,' said Ross enthusiastically. 'She knows an awful lot, so that her compliments about my work are not just brown-nosing – she can be critical too – and she has a great sense of fun.' He smiled as if in reminiscence.

'Hey hey hey,' said Joey insinuatingly. 'Is she hot, Ross?'

The others looked at him in appalled disbelief and groaned 'Joey!' in unison.

'What?' he said in surprise.

'Joey, you don't _ask_ things like that about other people's girlfriends,' said Monica.

'I do,' Joey protested.

'Joe, you _say_ them about your _own_ girlfriends,' Chandler pointed out. 'We never ask you stuff like that.'

Joey subsided, looking a bit sulky.

'So, what's with you, anyway, Rachel?' said Ross, settling back. 'How's the job going? Heard from Mark?' His tone was not mocking, for once; it sounded as if he really wanted to know.

Rachel told him of recent developments: how she had put in for a post and had been totally undermined at the interview by her boss Joanna, because she wanted to keep her as an assistant; how when she had spoken of quitting Joanna had offered to create an executive post specially for her; and how it had all come to nothing when Joanna was killed in a road accident before getting the job set up.

Ross's face had expressed anger and sympathy by turns. 'Gee, Rach, that really is too bad,' he said at the end, 'though I will say this: a boss who could act like that would not be good to work for.'

'No,' Rachel admitted, gratified that he felt for her, 'but it _would_ have been a promotion. Now they've closed the whole department down and I have this job as a personal shopper, which is not very fulfilling, and I don't see how I'm going to make much progress from there at the moment.'

Ross's expression became even more sympathetic. 'One damn thing after another,' he commented. 'I must say, you seem fairly cheerful, despite it all. Are you, um, seeing anybody nice?'

She shook her head. 'But Julie is the most amazing friend,' she said. 'I shall always be glad you made it up with her and brought her in here.'

'Yes,' he said, sounding a little strained, 'and now she seems to have made another friend.' Frowning a little, he looked over at the table where Julie and Diana sat. Diana was gazing raptly at Julie as the latter was telling some story. If that isn't infatuation, I don't know what is, Rachel thought. Scratch another of Ross's girlfriends.

'Talk about hero worship!' she said aloud. 'I never realised Julie had such a reputation.'

'Well, to be honest, neither did I,' he said, then looked at his watch. 'My God, we're late for our reservation!' He jumped up and rushed over to the table. After some hasty exchanges, he seemed to shrug and agree to something, and when they left, Julie went with them, waving goodbye to Rachel with a smile.

Rachel tried to identify the emotions that she was feeling. Hurt, yes, that Julie should just go off like that and leave her alone. Jealousy? In a way, yes, because Julie must be interested in this Diana woman to be willing to go to dinner with them, which appeared to be what was happening. But was she also a little relieved? She had to admit to herself that she was. After considerable agonising she had reached the conclusion that the love that she felt for Julie was not the kind of love that led to the bedroom; she had been strongly regretting giving her the impression that she might be willing to go that way, and wondering how to tell her. If Julie were to get seriously interested in Diana, which did not look impossible, then everything could be resolved.

Over the next days, Rachel saw progressively less of Julie, who began apologising more and more often for being unable to make a date to have coffee, lunch, drinks, dinner, go window-shopping, watch a movie, or just hang out in the apartment, because she had something else planned. When they did see each other, Julie seemed a little uneasy, and Rachel felt the lack of that special something that had been apparent before. She also had a tendency to go off into what were evidently pleasant daydreams, because she would be smiling, but she would never explain these; and sometimes when she was leaving she radiated a curious air of excitement, rather like that of someone about to go on a date. Rachel also noticed how Ross and Diana did not come into Central Perk very often after their first visit together, and never when Julie was there. Ross came in on his own more often, but he generally looked as if there were something on his mind, and he was rather short when anyone asked him how things were going with Diana. Rachel talked about this with Monica and Phoebe, and they agreed that things could not be going well; but Rachel did not reveal what she suspected was going on, which would have been to 'out' Julie, as she had effectively promised not to do. But she was more and more convinced that something was going on between Julie and Diana, though it was not clear precisely what.

Then one day, when it was near the end of work at Bloomingdale's, Julie came in and asked Mr. Waltham, Rachel's boss, if she might talk to Rachel on a serious matter. A rather remote and uptight but basically kind-hearted Britisher, Mr. Waltham said that Rachel could leave a few minutes early. Julie greeted Rachel cheerfully enough, but Rachel sensed strain.

It was not until they were outside and walking down the street that Julie spoke. 'Can we go somewhere private? I've got something to say.'

'Sure,' said Rachel, pretty sure now that she knew what was coming. 'There's a place with booths a block or two down, where I've been sometimes for a quick bite at lunchtime.'

When they entered it was not very crowded, and Julie led them to a part where no one was sitting near. They ordered coffees, and then Julie looked across at Rachel.

'This is going to sound pretty strange, after all I've said,' she began, 'but – '

'You've got interested in Diana,' Rachel said.

Julie looked shocked. 'You _know? Who else knows?'_

'I didn't_ know_,' said Rachel calmly, 'not until now. I only guessed, because I have information that no one else among us has, as far as I know, which is that you are bi, and so I could see something going on that I don't think anyone else even suspects, except maybe Ross. But we are all agreed it's not going well with Diana.'

'Yes, Ross,' said Julie unhappily. 'He's going to take this very hard. But the fact is, Rachel, we're soulmates, Diana and I. We have _so much in common – more than Ross and I, more than you and I. And you can't imagine how flattering it is for a small person like me to have such a large and impressive-seeming person treat you as her obvious superior and want to be your disciple. I know, I thought' – she swallowed – 'I thought I was in love with you, and perhaps if we had gone further I would have been, though maybe it was just a very intense crush. But you've never said anything, or given the impression that you wanted to go further than we did when you stayed at my place. So am I right in thinking you never did feel the same for me?'_

Rachel nodded and reached out to pat her hand. 'I'm very fond of you, Julie,' she said, 'very, _very_ fond – but when I've thought about kissing you seriously or going further, I just couldn't imagine it. The idea didn't disgust me, but it didn't excite me at all. So I wish you happiness with Diana, with all my heart, and I hope we can stay friends, though I don't suppose we can meet in Central Perk.'

Julie heaved a long sigh of relief, and seemed to relax. 'Thank God! I feel bad enough about Ross. I'd hate to think I was letting you down as well.' She looked at Rachel. 'Do you think … if Ross were free, could you be interested in him again? It would be an ideal solution.'

'It doesn't work like that, Julie,' said Rachel, slightly nettled. 'Feelings for Ross are not like a dress I can just get out of a wardrobe and put on whenever I feel like it. And we went on the wake in the first place because we thought it was clear that he didn't care for me like that any more.'

'Oh yeah,' said Julie. 'Sorry, that _was_ a dumb thing to say. But could you try to be especially kind to him, at least? He's going to be very down.'

'I've dropped the habit of sniping at him,' said Rachel. 'And I will feel sorry for him, so I don't think there'll be a problem. But it may be difficult. He will probably be very bitter about you, you know.'

Julie sighed and looked anguished. 'I know, I _know! But I __can't walk away from this. Even if I did, Diana wouldn't go back to him – so there would be three unhappy people instead of one.'_

'Has she told him?' Rachel asked.

'She's doing it now, I hope,' said Julie. 'I would have preferred to do this days ago, but for someone who comes on like she does, she is very nervous about things like that. I knew she was in love with me long before she would admit to it, and she told me it took all her courage even to ask to talk with me that first time. That tough act is largely a front, really.'

'Well, I hope it works out for you both,' said Rachel, finishing her coffee. 'And don't worry too much about Ross. We form quite a good support system, we friends. Um … can I mention that you had feelings for me?'

'I don't see that it can do any harm,' said Julie after a moment's thought. 'Conceivably, it might even help. You're right that I can't go back to Central Perk, at least not while any of you are there, unless it's only you, so there's no chance of anyone feeling embarrassed about knowing this. Now I must go and see how Diana got on. I'll be in touch. And don't worry about the check; I'll cover it. Thanks for being so supportive.'

She hurried away, leaving Rachel with her thoughts and feelings. She did not feel bad, really; she had been expecting this, and it was not as if she had broken up with a lover. But she had to admit, she did feel sad for Ross. She decided that she must try to cheer him up as much as possible. The first thing was to get home and bring Monica in on it, if she didn't already know. 

When she got to the apartment it was to find Ross on the couch, sobbing on Monica's shoulder, while a clearly moved Phoebe looked at them, an occasional tear trickling slowly down her cheeks.

'Oh my God, Ross _honey_!' she cried, and threw herself onto the couch behind him, desperate to give him some comfort. But even as she did so she knew that the spark was gone. She wanted to comfort him as her very good friend, but definitely not as someone whom she wanted to be her lover again.

'You know?' said Monica.

'Julie's been talking to me,' said Rachel.

'Yeah, you've been pretty close, these last weeks,' said Phoebe. 'But could you imagine anything like this?'

Now was the moment, Rachel thought. It might even distract Ross from his misery. 'Um, yes,' she said. 'I've been suspecting it for a while. You see, I know Julie's bi. She had a crush on me before.'

Ross raised his head to look at her, his expression a mixture of unhappiness and accusation. '_You_? Julie had a crush on _you_?'

'I'm afraid so,' said Rachel. 'I had been suspecting it, and got her to admit it the morning after the wake, when I had slept it off in her apartment and she was looking after me.'

Ross looked mystified.

'We, we held a wake for what I thought was the death of any chance I might have to get back with you,' said Rachel, trying to look at him steadily. 'A few weeks ago, that was all I wanted.'

 'But now …' he prompted, sitting up and looking at her intently.

She sighed. 'I'm sorry, Ross. Now it's _really gone. You are a friend, a dear friend – but nothing more. Knowing that Julie had feelings for me actually helped me to get over you. But in the end, I couldn't return her feelings the way she wanted.'_

'Wow,' said Ross. 'That's … extraordinary.' He looked thoughtful. 'Do you think she made nice to me, to get to see you again?'

Rachel nodded. 'I know it. She said that she had kidded herself into thinking she wanted some revenge on me, but deep down it was because she had been attracted to me – and it got worse once she started hanging out with us. Yes, I'm afraid she did use you as a bit of a patsy.'

'I wouldn't have minded that so much,' said Ross darkly, 'but to take away my girlfriend! A lot of people are going to find that rather funny.'

'I'm sure just as many will feel sorry for you, as we do,' said Rachel.

He smiled a little, looking slightly more cheerful. 'Thanks, Rachel. You know, it's just as well you are over me – and you really are telling the truth, this time?'

She nodded. 'Yes, Ross.'

'That's good, because I just couldn't get that feeling back. I knew you were coming on to me, and I tried very hard to feel a response, but I really couldn't, and it hurt. I'm _glad_ you are where I am now. So, we're just friends with a history.'

'I'm sure we're not the first,' said Rachel, smiling at him. 'Say, do you want to have a wake for your relationship with Diana? I'll come along, if you do. It did me a lot of good, though not as much as Julie telling me she loved me, to be honest. I'm afraid we can't run to that.'

'I should come along too,' said Phoebe. 'The wake was my idea first, so I ought to get in on all wakes.'

As so often, Ross vacillated. 'Well, I don't know, you guys …'

'Aw, come on, Ross,' said Monica bracingly. 'You have the perfect excuse to tie one on. It's bound to beat sitting around your apartment glooming. And just think: if you have a hangover, the pain of it will override any bad feelings about Diana.'

'That's a Chandler kind of joke,' said Ross, looking at her reproachfully. Then he gave a sort of lopsided grin. 'But I have to admit, I'm tempted, though it would be nice if we could get Chandler along, and Joey too.'

'Sure!' said Rachel emphatically. 'We'll be the _Six Musketeers! All for one, and one for all! I'll go see if they're in.'_

As luck would have it, Chandler had just got in, and was chatting with Joey. They responded cautiously to Rachel's idea.

'Come on, you guys,' she said. 'Ross is our buddy. We have a duty to get him through this.'

'Wouldn't it be better if you just got back together with him?' said Joey.

'No, Joey, the time for that is past,' Rachel told him gently. '_Neither_ of us feels like that any more. If you want a further inducement – when I did this we ended up at a strip club, though we didn't stay very long.'

Joey's face lit up. 'Hey, why didn't you say? But I hope you intend that we _do_ stay long, this time.'

'No guarantees,' said Rachel cheerfully, 'but I don't have any objections, personally.'

Before long the six of them were following the path that Rachel had followed with her friends – the Irish bar, the karaoke bar, and the strip club. Ross became increasingly cheerful – he was not too hard to persuade to try his hand at karaoke, giving a surprisingly good rendition of The Urban Spaceman, and he was ready to enter into the spirit of things at the strip club. When they finally saw him back to his apartment at two in the morning, he threw his arms around Rachel and thanked her for suggesting the idea for the the best evening he had spent in a long time; but it was, as Rachel recognised, the gesture of a friend.

'We still have to find him another girlfriend,' said Monica as she walked back with Rachel. 'I'm sorry that you two are definitely over – you were so great together.'

'Yeah, but we _are_ over,' said Rachel, gently but firmly. 'I just hope Ross does not lose all confidence with women because of this.'

'I don't think he will,' said Monica. 'You have to hand it to the guy, he does manage to keep bouncing back. And despite everything I think he'll be better than he was a few months ago, when you had broken up the second time.'

Rachel coughed to indicate that she would prefer not to talk about that. 'I'll see if there's anyone around Bloomingdale's who looks promising,' she said, 'and you look around at Alessandro's.'

'Huh!' went Monica. 'Being my brother would be no recommendation at all to any of _them_. But I'll see what I can do.'

Not so very much later, Mr. Waltham asked Rachel if she would be willing to accompany his niece Emily, on a visit from London, to the opera. By this time she was trying to get a very cute man to whom she was acting as personal shopper, Joshua Bergen, to take an interest in her, and was rather irritated at this distraction, but she found it politic to agree and met her at the apartment. Emily was in a bad mood, made worse by the appalling weather, but Rachel thought there was a possibility here. She had contrived to get Ross on hand and introduce Emily to him; to her pleasure, she saw them take to each other right away. When she suggested that Ross go to the opera with Emily instead of her, neither objected, and a romance between them developed quickly, moving a great deal faster than her own rather stop-and-start affair with Joshua. After finding it increasingly hard to part from each other, they got engaged when they had known each other less than two months.

Although a bit worried that they had got this far this fast, Rachel was genuinely pleased for Ross, and gladly accepted an invitation to attend the wedding. Almost everything that could go wrong did go wrong – the very building where Emily had been wanting to hold the ceremony was in the process of being demolished – but in the end the wedding took place more or less as planned, and Rachel returned to New York feeling hopeful that Ross was now settled in a marriage that he wanted, and also determined to move things along with Joshua if she possibly could.

(But that's another story! I bet no one expected this ending; neither did I when I started :) If you want more of this timeline, you'll have to provide it yourselves)


	10. Ross and Chloe and Rachel

Chapter 6: Ross and Chloe

[Author's Note: a little something that occurred to me. Obviously, it takes place in Series 3 (so e.g. Joey's character fits that time, and not more recent developments).

I may return to Triangle next, since so many people have at least checked it out (and are continuing to look at True Love and Where A Kiss Can Lead), or continue the Wild West saga. Any views that are not simply abusive are welcome]

It was four weeks since the Big Breakup, and the atmosphere had definitely lightened. To the relief of the others, Ross and Rachel were always polite, and even capable of ribbing each other like in the pre-relationship days, though their comments were often rather barbed. The air was not quite free of tension, but attention was focussed more on Joey's new play and his obsession with Kate the lead actress, Monica's frustration over her inability to be truly attracted to Pete, the millionaire who was dating her, and other such absorbing matters.

One Saturday morning most of the gang were sitting around in Central Perk, considering how to spend the day, when a new arrival made both Joey and Chandler, who were looking in the direction of the door, sit up in surprise. It was Chloe, the hot girl from the copy shop. She was not dressed as revealingly as when they had last seen her. She flashed them a brief smile and came over. Seen close, she seemed stressed.

'I'm looking for Ross,' she said, 'but he's not at his apartment and I don't see him here.'

Joey and Chandler looked at each other. What should they do? The decision was taken out of their hands when Monica spoke up.

'I'm Ross's sister Monica. What do you want with him, and who are you anyway?'

Chloe blushed. 'I, um, it's a very personal matter.'

Monica's eyes narrowed, and she looked across at Joey and Chandler. Seeing the question in her eyes, Chandler leaned over and hissed, 'This is Chloe.'

'Chloe?' Monica repeated loudly in a very surprised voice, making Rachel, who was flipping through a magazine, sit bolt upright and focus a very intent glance on Chloe, her expression darkening.

'What do you want with Ross?' Monica repeated, looking rather fierce. 'Haven't you screwed up his life enough?'

Chloe looked stricken. 'I, I …' she began, then ground to a halt as she perceived Rachel's burning glare. 'Y-you must be Rachel,' she stammered.

'I am,' said Rachel, 'and I should be _very_ interested in an answer to Monica's question.'

Chloe looked to the men as if for help, but Joey only stared back at her blankly, while Chandler spread his hands and tried to look sympathetic.

'Sorry, but I think you'll have to say,' he said.

Chloe looked very unhappy. 'I _must_ find him,' she said desperately. She returned her gaze to Monica. 'You see … I, I think … I'm' – her voice dropped – 'pregnant.'

All four of the friends gasped. Rachel was quickest to react. 'And of course it's his,' she said bitterly, 'I _don't_ think.'

Chloe gasped in outrage. 'Why, why should you think that?' she said. 'You know nothing about me.'

'Enough to know that you slept with him at the drop of a hat,' Rachel riposted fiercely, 'and boasted about it afterwards.'

A deep flush stained Chloe's cheeks. 'It wasn't … boasting,' she said. 'I just … told Isaac where I'd been, and why. So, so … you found out?'

'Isaac told his sister, and she told Gunther, and he told me,' said Rachel. Suddenly her voice trembled. 'Why _did_ you sleep with him anyway? I think I have a right to know.'

Chloe sighed. 'I, I _liked_ him, and I was sorry for him. He was _so_ down. If you could have seen him, you'd have felt sorry for him too. But please believe me, I wasn't trying to take him away from you; I didn't even know about you, then. It was only later I heard that he thought you had broken up for good. '

'Oh God!' Rachel wailed. '_Why_ did he have to believe that?' She burst into tears. Monica put her arms round her and glared at Chloe.

'She was getting over it,' she hissed. 'So, anyway, how do you know it's his?'

Chloe stuck her chin out. 'Because, whether you believe me or not, I hadn't been with anyone else before my period was due.'

'But Ross would have taken precautions,' Monica objected.

'He did,' said Chloe, 'but, well, this was one time they didn't work. I have to admit, I was relying on him.'

'What about _before_ you went with Ross?' Joe put in suddenly. 'You could have been pregnant already.'

Chloe lost her temper. 'Why does everyone think I'm some kind of slut? I don't sleep around. Ross was the only guy I slept with last month, I swear.' She looked down and fidgeted a little. 'I, um, had broken up with a guy three months ago.'

Monica felt a touch of sympathy. She turned to Rachel, who had quietened down and was wiping her eyes. 'Rachel, I think we'd better talk to her,' she said softly. 'She seems on the level.'

Rachel nodded apathetically.

'Sit down, Chloe,' said Monica, not unkindly. 'Ross is out of town this week on some museum thing. Now, I'm guessing, you want to go through with it?'

Chloe smiled gratefully as she sat down. 'I couldn't kill a little baby, so I guess I'll have to. But it's what happens afterwards that I need to talk over with Ross.'

'So, you don't want to keep it?' Monica pursued. An idea was forming in her mind.

'I just don't know,' Chloe said. 'It's so soon to make that kind of decision. But I do need to know what Ross thinks.'

Rachel looked at her balefully. 'You're hoping he'll get together with you?'

'Look, I just don't _know_,' Chloe repeated. Then her face showed sudden realisation. 'You didn't get together again, did you? You broke up. But …' Her voice trailed away as Rachel's face showed intense pain.

'For God's sake don't say they were on a break,' said Chandler, trying to lighten the atmosphere. 'It'll bring me out in hives.'

Chloe's mouth twitched in an involuntary smile. 'All right, I won't, but why?'

'It's Ross's eternal _excuse_,' said Rachel, with an angry half-sob. 'But I _never_ meant him to think that.' She glared at Chloe again. 'Did you put that idea into his head – that it was okay to sleep with you, because he was on a break?'

'No,' said Chloe firmly. 'It took me quite a while to get the whole story out of him.' Her face changed as she remembered something. 'He rang you, didn't he, and there was another guy there.' There was a trace of accusation in her voice.

'There was never anything between me and Mark,' said Rachel hotly. 'It was all in Ross's head. Mark had come round because he was concerned for me as a friend.'

Chloe shook her head. '_Bad_ decision. Not as bad as the one I made, the way it turns out, but still …'

'I don't have to take _any_ criticism from you!' cried Rachel, jumping up. 'I'm going back to the apartment,' she informed Monica, and stormed off.

'She's really taking it hard,' said Chloe sympathetically, looking after Rachel. 'I guess she loved him a lot, huh?'

'She did, and I think she still does,' said Monica. 'But please don't repeat that. Well, Chloe, since you're going to be mother of a nephew or niece of mine, tell me something about yourself, like your full name, and where you come from, and everything. Do you want a coffee?'

Chandler felt surprise at Monica's sudden geniality. He looked at Joey, who also showed puzzlement. 'What's she being so nice to Chloe for?' he whispered to Chandler, who could only shrug.

Monica discovered that Chloe was twenty-three years old, her surname was Farrell, she came from Albany, and she had first taken a job in photocopying to help pay her way through college. When she graduated she had stuck with it because it interested her. Monica soon discovered that Chloe and Ross shared a capacity to be boring about their work: Chloe was really enthusiastic about the minutiae of photocopying, and Monica noticed Joey's and Chandler's eyes glaze over with boredom as Chloe held forth. She guessed that they had heard the story about "Rossing it" before. Overall, Chloe seemed a fairly simple, goodhearted girl, who was relaxed about sexual behaviour but not a real out-for-kicks type, though she liked New York "because there was so much going on". She seemed genuinely sorry that her fling with Ross had caused the breakup with Rachel. Monica wondered if she might suit Ross, but she rather thought not. She seemed almost as unintellectual as Rachel, whom Ross had loved in spite of her lack of interest in his work.

-----

To Rachel's disgust, Chloe came round to Central Perk fairly often after that, announcing on one such occasion that the pregnancy had been confirmed. Rachel sat as far away from her as possible, and would only speak to her with great reluctance, although privately she accepted the assessment of Monica and Phoebe, that there was not an ounce of harm in her – Phoebe even suggested that she was slightly dumb. But Rachel had deep suspicions of her intentions towards Ross, which were not allayed by Monica's assurance that she did not think Ross would want a relationship with her. It did nothing for Rachel's peace of mind that the others became fairly friendly towards Chloe as they got to know her better. She was not surprised that Joey began to show signs that he was interested, for there was no denying that Chloe was an attractive girl; but, unfortunately from Rachel's point of view, Chloe made no attempt to encourage him.

Ross came to Central Perk directly from the airport, to find Chloe sitting with his friends, to his considerable surprise. Jumping up to hug him, Monica muttered, 'She's pregnant, and I believe her, it has to be yours.'

'Oh my God!' said Ross, sitting down heavily and looking with a wild surmise at Chloe. 'How, how could this have happened?'

'Condoms are not a hundred per cent safe,' said Joey. 'Maybe yours was old, or frayed some way.'

'I, um, think … maybe when we … you know, went on …' Chloe began.

'Too much information!' Rachel cried, putting her fingers in her ears.

Ross sighed deeply. 'Okay, well, it's done – and you're going to keep it?'

'I'm going to give birth,' said Chloe, 'but we need to decide everything else.'

'I certainly don't want the baby given away for adoption, or something like that,' said Ross firmly. 'But I guess you would need quite a lot of support to bring it up.'

'I'm not sure I want to be a single mother,' said Chloe, looking at him rather soulfully. The implication, that she would like to be with him, was clear.

'Oh, ah, yes,' said Ross, darting a harried glance at Rachel. 'Well, look, I guess we should go talk about this on our own.'

'Before you go,' said Monica, 'I want to suggest one option. I could adopt the baby, or at least bring him up for you, and you would both have all the visiting rights you wanted.'

Everyone looked at her in surprise. She stuck out her chin and looked determined. 'You all know how much I want a baby.'

'I'll … have to think about that,' said Chloe, 'but anyway, Ross, let's go and talk.'

'Come back to my apartment,' said Ross. 'I need to unpack and freshen up.'

'Sure,' said Chloe, beaming.

'I knew it,' said Rachel despondently after they'd gone. 'She's after him.'

'Well, sweetie, you must admit, it would be the best solution for her,' said Monica, 'but I don't see it happening, myself.'

'Me neither,' said Phoebe emphatically. 'Ross must know he can do better, even if he marries one of those museum geeks.'

But Rachel refused to be encouraged. She went into a deep depression for the rest of the day, and that evening told Monica of her conviction that Chloe had got pregnant deliberately to ensnare Ross. All Monica's attempts to reason her out of this failed, and when Rachel went to bed she slept very badly, as Monica perceived from her bloodshot eyes and drawn face the following morning.

'Sweetie, you've got to stop tearing yourself up over this,' she said. 'Likely Ross won't want any kind of long term relationship with her.'

'Until I hear it from his, or her, own lips I can't be easy,' Rachel said unhappily. 'I know I'm probably obsessing over nothing, but I can't help it.'

'You want him back,' said Monica. It was a statement, not a question.

Rachel burst into tears. 'Yes,' she choked out between sobs. Monica was still comforting her when Phoebe arrived.

'Got the Ross blues, has she?' said Phoebe knowledgeably. 'Don't worry, Rachel, he could never take that little bimbo seriously.'

'But, but this baby _links_ him to her,' said Rachel miserably. 'And it _distracts_ him. How can I compete with someone who's carrying his baby, especially when I can't even look like I'm competing?'

Even optimistic Phoebe could not come up with an easy answer to this, and she and Monica could only counsel patience and being nice to Ross. Rachel did her best over the next few days, but it was very hard to see Chloe sitting next to Ross in Central Perk and talking to him intimately. It seemed pretty evident to her that they had gone to bed together again, and soon she found that she could barely stand to look at them.

Then one day, some two weeks since Chloe had entered their lives, Rachel entered Central Perk to find her sitting on her own, staring into space and looking as gloomy as Rachel felt. Curious, she asked if anything was the matter. 

Chloe turned a face of woe towards her. Heaving a deep sigh, she said, 'He doesn't want me. I _promised_ him I would be the best wife I could to him, I'd do _everything_ he wanted, but' – she gave a little sob – 'that wasn't enough.'

Feeling an enormous sense of relief, but also, to her surprise, some sympathy, Rachel asked one of the questions that had been plaguing her. 'Do you love him?'

Chloe's answering expression was so anguished that she instantly cried, 'No no, forget it, I shouldn't have asked.'

'You have a right, I guess,' said Chloe heavily. 'I didn't love him like you did, maybe, but I _did_ have feelings for him – quite strong feelings. I wouldn't have gone to bed with him otherwise.'

Rachel nodded and looked encouraging.

'It isn't easy, you know,' Chloe burst out. 'Seeing this guy you like coming in every two or three days, and he just sees you as a, a person to do his copying. So, when I saw a chance I went for it.' She gave a little sob. 'And it was all for nothing, except now I'll have this _permanent_ reminder.' She burst into tears.

Now feeling really sympathetic, Rachel went to sit beside her and patted her on the shoulder. Chloe looked at her in surprise.

'I'd have done the same, I think,' Rachel said, 'if I had a crush on a guy who came in here when I was waitressing, and he broke it off with his girlfriend. I do sympathise, Chloe.'

'Oh, thank you, thank you!' Chloe cried. 'I've been feeling so guilty …' Her face crumpled, and she began to cry really hard. Hardly knowing she was doing it, Rachel opened her arms and Chloe collapsed into them. Rachel almost felt like an elder sister comforting a younger one who had been disappointed in love.

Being able to let her feelings out fully seemed to be good for Chloe. She stopped crying quite soon and looked at Rachel with clear admiration.

'It's very big of you, to be so kind,' she said. 'Is, is there anything I can do for you in exchange?'

Rachel sighed. 'I don't know whether you could handle it.'

Chloe looked puzzled for a moment; then her face cleared. 'You want to know what he was like, that night, don't you?'

Rachel nodded. 'How he seemed to you, what he said … I don't need to know what he did.'

Chloe giggled. 'We could compare notes.' Then her face went serious. 'I'm sorry … you want him back, don't you?'

Rachel nodded, temporarily unable to speak. 'I, I was _so _close to forgiving him when we broke up,' she faltered finally. 'So … _close_.' Then she broke down and put her face in her hands, and it was Chloe's turn to hug and comfort her.

'It's my belief he loves you still,' she said softly. 'I always got this feeling, there was someone else there, someone in his mind, and who could it be but you?'

'Oh Chloe!' Rachel cried, embracing her fiercely. 'You _couldn't_ have said anything that would make me like you more. Oh, if I can_ hope_ … Here, let me get you a coffee. We both need something after all this emotion.'

Chloe beamed at her. 'I'd _love_ a coffee.'

Monica, Chandler and Joey were considerably surprised when they entered Central Perk to find Rachel, Chloe and Phoebe all conversing as easily as if they had been friends for years. Soon, they learned that Chloe had told Rachel everything she could remember about Ross's behaviour on the fatal night and the morning after. They now seemed on very good terms, and were bonding further through Rachel's ability to carry on an animated discussion of the kind of fashion that Chloe was interested in, which went on for so long that everyone else became thoroughly bored and greeted Ross's arrival as a welcome distraction. 

He looked at Rachel and Chloe with unease as well as surprise. 'Ganging up on me?' he found the wit to remark.

'It would serve you right if they did,' said Phoebe spiritedly. 'You, you heartless dinosaur-lover, you!'

'Ah, now, come on, Pheebs,' said Rachel. 'Be fair. Ross isn't heartless. His problem is too much heart – he has such strong feelings that he can't handle them sometimes, and so he goes and does something stupid. I've done it too, like that one time with Paolo.' She tried to give Ross as sympathetic and friendly a look as possible.

'Hmph, easy for you to say when you're in love with him,' said Phoebe. Then she put her hand to her mouth and looked at Rachel, eyes popping in consternation. '_Were_ in love with him, I mean,' she corrected hastily.

Rachel felt as if her cheeks were glowing red. She dared not catch Ross's eye, though she could feel him looking at her.

'So, Joey, how's the play coming along?' said Monica hastily.

With an almost audible sigh of relief the group turned to this innocuous topic.

-----

Thereafter Rachel and Chloe got along very well, and had more than one heart-to-heart chat, and everyone would have been totally relaxed about the situation, except that Joey quickly realised that whatever had been between Ross and Chloe was completely over. Breaking the supposed rule about not dating his friends' ex-girlfriends, he immediately began to make overt advances to Chloe, undeterred by her lack of response. This became so irritating to Ross, among others, that one time when they were in Central Perk but Chloe was not, he told Joey to lay off.

Joey did not take this well. 'Just because she's carrying your baby, that doesn't mean you have _any_ say over who dates her,' he said.

'Joey, can't you see, she doesn't _want_ you,' said Ross with an air of strained patience. 'She probably doesn't want anybody at the moment. In the early stages, women often feel like that.'

'Hey, listen to Mister Experienced!' Joey jeered. 'You weren't even living with Carol when she was pregnant.'

'He's right, Joey,' said Rachel firmly. 'Chloe doesn't want you.'

'Oh, and how would you know?' said Joey defensively. 'Does she tell you all her secrets?'

'Pretty much,' Rachel replied calmly. 'We're friends now, or hadn't you noticed? She often feels queasy, and you constantly hitting on her doesn't help.'

Joey subsided sulkily, while Ross sent Rachel a grateful glance. Later, when Joey had gone to a rehearsal and only the two of them were there, he said, 'I'm very happy that you and Chloe are friends now, Rachel. I know it shouldn't, but it kinda makes me feel … better about what I did.'

Rachel smiled at him, and decided the time was ripe to make a move. 'I can make you feel even better than that. She admitted to me, she came on to you that night, because she had a crush on you, and you were vulnerable, I can see that now. I … oh, let's _forget_ whether we were on a break or not!'

His eyes lit up. 'Rachel, does that mean … you've forgiven me?'

She tried to keep her voice steady. 'Yes, Ross, I've forgiven you.'

'Then, then … might we, can we date again?' he stammered, his eyes full of blazing eagerness.

'Ross,' she said from the heart, 'I'd _love_ to date again.'

He swept her into his arms, but as she was eagerly anticipating his kiss she felt him tense.

'Oh God,' he groaned, '_what_ are we going to do about Chloe?'

'She won't mind,' said Rachel. 'She knows I want to get back together with you.'

'But she's carrying my baby,' said Ross. 'I can't walk away from that.'

'I don't want you to,' said Rachel. 'But that doesn't mean we can't date, does it?'

'No,' said Ross, bending to kiss her at last, 'I guess it doesn't.'

-----

Some seven months later, Rachel was holding one of Chloe's hands and assuring her that she was doing fine. To everyone's surprise, including her own, she had fiercely overridden all opposition from hospital staff and insisted upon being with Chloe during the birth, which began a week before the expected date, when Ross was away at a conference. This was a natural sequel to her having accompanied Chloe to many of her birthing classes, claiming that it would be good practice for her in time to come, and thereby taking much of the pressure off Ross, who was profoundly grateful. He had proposed to her only a month after they had started dating again, and it had been agreed between the three of them that they could wait to see how Chloe felt about the baby before any final decision, but that they all had a right to an interest in her. They knew it would be a girl and had already chosen the names Julia Rachel, the latter at Chloe's insistence. She had said to Rachel, when they were discussing names in Central Perk, that she was like the sister she had never had, to which Rachel replied that Chloe meant a lot more to her now than her real sisters. Monica and Phoebe had then pretended to throw up and everyone had had a good laugh, but Rachel had meant it. She had become very fond of Chloe, finding her simplicity something of a relief from Monica's obsessive neatness and control freakery and Phoebe's occasional manic weirdness.

A scream from Chloe recalled Rachel, reminiscing on these lines, to her present surroundings. Quickly she took a look.

'The baby's head is visible,' she cried in excitement. 'Give it a good one next time, Chloe!' She squeezed her hand.

Chloe tried to smile through her grimace of effort. 'It's … so hard,' she panted.

'Yell!' Rachel urged. 'It helps the pushing down motion. Yell out your feelings about anything at all.'

'I hate Joey!' Chloe yelled instantly, then, in time to the contractions, 'Just because I was _pregnant_ … he thought I was _easy_ … I'd go with _anyone_!' The last word came out as a scream.

'Here she comes, here she comes!' cried Rachel, jumping up and down in excitement. 'One more yell!'

_'Joey is a m**********r!'_ Chloe screamed at the top of her voice, and with the effort that she put into that, the baby's hips and legs came through and Julia Rachel Farrell was born. Shortly she was placed in Chloe's arms.

Tears trickling down her cheeks, Chloe looked at her, then up at Rachel. 'Now I see her, I want to keep her,' she said softly. 'I know it will make life difficult for Ross, but – '

'You leave Ross to me,' Rachel interrupted firmly. 'Of course you must keep her; you're her mother.' She bent down and kissed the baby's head. 'I'll be her aunt Rachel.'

'No, you'll be her second mom,' said Chloe. The tears came faster. 'I'll never forget what you've done for us, Rachel, and you bet I'll tell Julia what we owe you, when she's older.'

Rachel felt a few tears trickle down her own cheeks. 'Chloe, I'm glad to have had the chance to do it. I admit, it's made me feel a better person.'

Just then Ross, who had been alerted by phone, came charging in. 'Where is she, where is she?' he cried.

As he admired his new daughter, Rachel told him that Chloe wanted to keep her. He nodded, looking resigned.

'I'll do my best to help,' he said, 'though it will mean a hefty bite out of my income. We, um, may have to postpone starting a family of our own, Rach.'

'That's okay,' said Rachel easily. 'For one thing, Julia will be almost like having a family, and for another… this will give me a great incentive to work hard and get promoted.'

He nodded. 'You won't get any argument from me there.' Suddenly he grinned. 'I'll need all the help I can get, though luckily Carol and Susan don't ask for much financial help with Ben.'

'Can we come see the baby?' said Monica eagerly, peering round the door.

'Sure, come in,' called Chloe.

As Monica cradled Julia, Rachel quietly told her of Chloe's decision. Monica heaved a sigh, but nodded and smiled. 'I guess there's no alternative to having one of my own. At least I have a niece now as well as a nephew.'

'Oh, isn't she cute?' said Phoebe, peering over Monica's shoulder. 'Ross, you father the _best_ children.' She dug him in the ribs. 'Maybe you'd give me one.'

Ross grinned in mixed pride and embarrassment. As Monica took Julia back to Chloe, followed by the others, Joey sidled over to Rachel.

'I didn't catch it clearly,' he muttered, 'but it sounded like Chloe was yelling something about me.'

Rachel looked at him. He seemed troubled. 'Don't worry about it, Joey,' she said soothingly. 'They say women shout all kinds of things when they're in labour. It needn't mean anything.'

His face cleared. 'So, anyway … she's gonna keep it?'

'She's going to keep _her_,' Rachel corrected. 'Yes, which means Chloe will be around a lot of the time. So, Joey,' she tried to look as severe as possible, '_don't_ try to date her. She _really _doesn't want you, take it from me, so just suck it up. You've got to learn to handle rejection.'

Joey frowned, then nodded and shrugged. 'Okay. Well, it's her loss.' He wandered over to look at Julia.

Rachel looked after him with an amused expression, shaking her head. She felt that she had matured a lot through having to deal with the whole Chloe situation, but there were times when she wondered what could possibly have a similar effect on Joey. Then Ross came over.

'Rachel,' he said warmly, 'I don't know what to say. You've been so great about Chloe the whole way through, and now you were here for her when I couldn't be.'

'Believe me, I was hostile at first,' said Rachel, 'even if you didn't notice. But we're good friends now. She's a sweet girl and will probably make a great mother.'

More faces appeared round the door. 'We've brought Ben to see his new sister,' said Carol, beaming.

'Come in, come in,' said Ross jovially. As he led Carol and Ben to the bedside, Susan drew Rachel aside.

'What's going to happen?' she asked.

'Chloe's keeping her,' said Rachel, wondering how many more times she'd have to say it, 'but we're going to give her all the help we can.'

Susan nodded. 'I admire you, Rachel; you've really grown. I hope Ross recognises what he's getting in you.'

'I hope so too,' said Rachel, 'and I have reason to believe he does. This has been good for both of us.'

Susan cocked her head. 'Better for him – he wanted you back.'

'Oh, but I wanted him back too,' said Rachel, 'and this time I think he's ready to treat me as an equal. Come see Julia.'

They joined the press around the bedside in time to hear Ben proclaim that babies were yucky, to everyone's amusement.

'One day you'll think differently,' said Rachel, tousling his hair. 'Everyone's capable of changing their mind.'


End file.
